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The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 21, July 5, 2019

Gazette Front PageJuly 5, 2019 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Once again, we’re speechless—well, nearly speechless—as we offer up, through this oft-troubling electro-digital series of contraptions, the non-tangible form of our latest paper.

Rest assured, the paper itself is stuffed to the gills, replete with a fresh Fortnightly Rant, more Alleged News™, Mash Notes, Hate Mail, & Other Correspondence, and approximately 140 moments in history which our neoliberal overlords would probably prefer that we forgot.

That being, of course, the reason why we take such pains to recall them.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 20, June 21, 2019

Gazette Front PageJune 21, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 19, June 7, 2019

Gazette Front PageJune 7, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

A lot of people these days wonder how this country got into its present predicament. According to this fortnight’s Rant, the trouble began in the 19th century.

Civil War reporters, graphic artists working for newspapers, and department store poobahs selling the latest gimcracks and gewgaws all played a part.

By gimcracks and gewgaws we mean cheap, showy merchandise, not Mose Allison’s fine 1997 song of that name. Its lyrics, though, seem strangely à propos.

The best are s’posed to come in first
The best are s’posed to come in first
The best are s’posed to come in first
They’re at the mercy of the worst.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 18, May 24, 2019

Gazette Front PageMay 24, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Welcome to our Memorial Day edition.

It is, of course, a hell of a challenge, trying to cover the news in a nation which has clearly stored its marbles in some safe place the exact location of which it cannot quite remember.

Our editor is of the opinion he’s uniquely qualified for this task. Not because he went to J School—he did not; no, the core of his relevant education was something the U.S. Army called “on-the-job training.”

Though it took place long ago and far away, it was memorable, indeed—one of those experiences which can produce a sort of double whiplash: first from getting used to a mad world, then getting re-acquainted with one that thinks it’s sane.

Take a gander, and see if you agree that a little madness helps make sense of this world.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 17, May 10, 2019

Gazette Front PageMay 10, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Every fortnight the Trump administration tries to stun us into silence with its depravity. Little do they know, that only makes us stronger.

An authoritative scientific report—approximately the umpteenth, if our tally is correct—indicates that unless mankind employs its highly sophisticated system of self-governance to change direction, we’re going to be one lonely species—and sooner than we think.

Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide [Not for Navigational Purposes] remembers the tender mercy shown by the Royal Ulster Constabulary towards James Connolly, 103 years ago this Sunday—and about 140 more of the oddest things known to have occurred over the past 1055 years.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 16, April 26, 2019

Gazette Front PageApril 26, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Ho-hum. Just another boring fortnight in the land of the brave and the home of the free. Nothing of any consequence….

Oh, wait—there was one thing…. Ah, yes, we almost forgot: the Mueller report was finally released eight days ago to Congress and the public. It nearly slipped our mind because it had been so thoroughly Barr-ed.

Move over, Thomas Bowdler (1754 – 1825). Your eponymous method of making troublesome texts innocuous enough for a child’s ears has now been rendered laughably quaint by our recently-confirmed Attorney General. …

One of our most faithful readers (and guerilla distributors) likes to take us to task for neglecting to cover sports. We attempt to placate him with the story of the original Blue Jacket.

Also, exclusive to the Nation’s Oldest Newspaper: the motto of the Flag Police.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 15, April 12, 2019

Gazette Front PageApril 12, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Scientists have captured an image of a black hole 55 million light years away. Strangely, it reminds us of another incredibly dense, yam-colored object much, much closer to home.
Too damn close.

Mike Dater graces our pages with a graphic representation succinctly summarizing Vice President Biden’s history of interactions with the female half of humanity. Also covered in his inimitable style: the Moon and Mike Pence, and rules for the pool.

Operating much like the stereotypical schoolyard bully, the IRS is shaking down the weak and the poor. We are about as surprised as you might expect.

A correspondent sent us a compelling and comprehensive argument explaining why Portsmouth can and should start over from scratch with the McIntyre building.

Finally, by actual count, page eight delivers 155 of the weirdest and most concisely-told tales of the last 1005 years.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 14, March 29, 2019

Gazette Front PageMarch 29, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Sometimes our editorial department
gets a little self-conscious about bringing up The Bad War. No, not the one that’s going on now, apparently all over the place. (Seriously—Niger? Oh, well, at least it was a tactical victory.)

No, we refer to the one which ended 46 years ago today. The one whose combatants, truck drivers, cooks and clerk typists we celebrate today—as we’re sure everyone is well aware.

Much as we would like to get with the program and pretend like everyone else that it never happened, it keeps erupting in the oddest places.

Can you blame us? Until everyone got distracted by Attorney General Barr’s concise assurance that the nation’s most prominent draft dodger is in no legal jeopardy, we were all transfixed by the spectacle of President Bone Spur arguing with a dead man.

Other items touched upon include the Mueller report, the list of speakers at UNH’s three commencements, and an argument explaining why New Hampshire should rename the Governor’s Mansion for Senator Thomas J. McIntyre. Plus, of course, about a gross of carefully curated items which were once news, and are still worthy of recall.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 13, March 15, 2019

Gazette Front PageMarch 15, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Wow! Didn’t see that coming. The Democratic Party’s sudden display of assertiveness is assessed in the Fortnightly Rant.

Michael Dater renders tender portraits of the newly feisty Democratic Party, the sentencing of the President’s former campaign manager, and two American icons trying to live up to the First Lady’s aspirational motto.

The New Hampshire State Legislature, aka the General Court, once again makes the national news. Why, yes, it is about guns. How did you guess?

The Flag Police provide the FTC with a little backup, in a story that will have readers asking, “What the puck?”

In our Hate Mail, Mash Notes, & Other Correspondence Department, a local aristocrat has some thoughts on improving the state of affairs.

Finally, Admiral Fowle’s Tidal Guide features approximately 140 historical items worthy of note, personally curated by our Editor Dementicus for extra piquance.

The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 263, No. 12, March 1, 2019

Gazette Front PageMarch 1, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Deciding what is an emergency and what is not is no simple matter these days. Tradition says beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, it appears, so are existential dread and the diversion of Federal resources for use in electoral campaigning.

New Hampshire Republicans want to kill a black man of limited mental capacity, to emphasize the point that it’s wrong to kill people. Democrats want to kill the death penalty, instead. We suspect Susan the Bruce is right—if the Republicans get their way, they’ll be endangering something else which both parties hold dear.

Our Starving Artiste Mike Dater has provided yet another piquant suite of cartoons. The three-panel job includes a little-bitty Easter egg—who’ll be first to spot it?

More than six years after it began, the Saga of Sanders Poynt—the Seacoast’s own Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce—is at last over. This time the good guy—and the public—won.

Robinson helicopters continue to fatally fall from the skies.

This fortnight’s Mash Notes, Hate Mail, & Other Correspondence department is fairly feisty, and page eight … well, see for yourself.