Tuesday, October 27, 2009 — If we ever get into the habit of taking an hour to prepare a post every time someone sends us evidence that someone is wrong on the Internet we are doomed. Today, however, we will indulge. We are prompted by an e-mail forwarded by a subscriber who participated in the Southeast Asian War Games forty years ago. The forwarded item, titled “An Axis of Idiots,” was credited to one J.D. Pendry, “Retired Sergeant Major, U.S.M.C.”

Our correspondent noted, “I’m ashamed that a Senior NonCom has gotten it Soooo Wrong. Although like most of their ‘arguments’ it has smidgens of ‘truth’ — just not the whole truth (i.e. We installed the Shah, and the Iranian people hated him. Al-Qaeda attacked us because we were in their ‘Holy Lands.’ We are ‘there’ for oil — period. It was the CIA and Pentagon that failed us, and not Democrat Presidents … )”

We won’t bother to refute Pendry’s screed. He’s not the only person on the Internet who’s wrong. We’ll just point out that, contrary to the e-mail he’s not a former Marine, but a retired Army NCO. And for those who never served, we thought we’d translate that plate of “chest salad.” These bits o’ magpie bait are read from top to bottom, and from left to right, in descending order of awesomeness. In that order, we find:

The Legion of Merit, which implies no form of heroism whatsoever unless there’s a “V” for valor involved, and which, for a guy who (allegedly) made the rank of Command Sargeant Major, could mean nothing more than that he did a superior job of sucking up to his superiors.

The Defense Meritorious Service Medal, which is a non-combat decoration introduced by … that Commie bastard, Jimmy Carter!

The Army Commendation Medal, which, again, without the “V” device, can be awarded for mere meritorious service.

The Army Achievement Medal, which, we venture to argue, well merits the response, Big Freakin’ Deal.

The Good Conduct Medal, to which we say, we should should freaking well hope so.

The National Defense Service Medal indicated that the recipient successfully kept breathing during a “national emergency” that has run, on and off, for thirty of the last sixty years.

The other three are insignificant enough to lump together as filler.

So. our hero here put in 28 years in Uncle Sam’s Army enjoying three hots and a cot, and generally living the socialist good life. And he knows everything.

That, dear reader, is all the attention we intend to give Mr. Pendry. We invite anyone else who gets bombarded with his ravings to direct their correspondents to this page.