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The New Hampshire Gazette
 Volume 262, No. 23, August 3, 2018

Gazette Front PageAugust 3, 2018 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.

Curiouser and curiouser. An infamous draft dodger (and philanderer, and serial filer of bankruptcies, &c. &c., but that’s another Rant) stands before literal Veterans of Foreign Wars, tells them “what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening”—and is applauded—while the Fourth Estate is booed. Clearly a significant portion of the electorate can now be classified as bonkers. No single buffoon could have accomplished this grotesque feat, and it could not have happened in just three years. We scratched our editorial head for a while over this, and transcribed the results.

City of Portsmouth officials and the local maker space are taking a firm stand: no using our 3D printers to manufacture the latest iteration of zip gun. A signs indicates local libertarians may take a contrary position.

Working closely with justly proud but beleaguered union members employed by the U.S. Postal Service, we have redesigned our First Class mail piece. This past fortnight saw its first test. The results are conclusive: an unqualified success. We mailed on Friday. Some New Hampshire residents got their paper on [drum roll, please] Saturday! On Monday, a subscriber received her paper … in Texas!

We are simply beside ourselves with glee.

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