John Andrew Boehner
Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross
November 17, 1949
The offficial version is that John graduated from high school in 1968, enlisted in the Navy, and was discharged eight weeks later due to a bad back. He would have been all of 18 years old at the time. We don't have any evidence that there was anything squirrely about the discharge, but how bad a back can you have at 18, and still be mobile forty years later?