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The Chickenhawk Hall of Shame


< | >
name:
Alan Kooi Simpson
rank:
Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross
date-of-birth:
September 2, 1931
home state:
Wyoming
missed opportunity:
Korean War
excuse:
None
preferred activity:
Arson, assault
occupation:
Lawyer, Senator, fussbudget
 
As a boy Alan K. Simpson seems to have been fairly combative. He's on record as having punched a cop, anyway. He's apparently got a record for comitting arson on federal property, too. Despite these indicators of a lively sense of fun, Simpson passed up the opportunity to exercise his aggressive instincts when Kim Il Sung's Reds started shelling Korea, although he was old enough to enlist. While a lot of guys his age were in boot camp, Alan "got with the program" at the Cranbrook School, in la-de-dah Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, then did four years straight at the U. of Wyoming. Once the shooting in Korea was safely over, Simpson did a two-year hitch with the U.S. Army in Germany. Could young troublemaker Simpson have got a better-than-fair shake because his father Milward (soon to be Governor Simpson) was then President of the Board of Trustees at the University of Wyoming? Until now, Alan Kooi Simpson has gotten a pass on this site due to sloth on the part of the alleged management. But no more. Not after his remark on Tuesday, August 31st, saying that America's veterans were "not helping us to save the country in this fiscal mess."