Thomas Dale "Tom," "The Hammer" DeLay
Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross
April 8, 1947
Attending grad school
Dime-a-Dance Boy, Congressman, Exterminator
One of the nation's most-nominated Chickenhawks, Mr. DeLay has explained that he had wanted to serve in Vietnam, but was unable to because all the available positions had been taken by Blacks and Hispanics. We suspect there might be someone in Iraq today who would be willing to trade places with Mr. DeLay. UPDATE: That last statement may become inoperative if DeLay ends up serving his 3-year sentence.