Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross
April 5, 1953
District of Columbia
Conjuring up threats to our very existence
Frank here is a very clever boy. Built a thing called the Center for Security Policy, which apparently keeps him in nice suits so he will look good in front of the TV cameras, which can’t seem to get enough of him. As far as we can tell, Frank is a freelance salesman for the defense industry who is paid by an elaborately circuitous process. For all his obsession with the military, it’s funny he never served.