Irve Lewis "Scooter" Libby
Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross
August 22, 1950
Writing a novel in which a bear rapes a female child.
Whatever Dick 'Dick' Cheney says
"Scooter" went to Phillips Andover, then to Yale. While there he was no doubt inculcated with all the manly virtues. Lesser young American men, meanwhile, performed the scut work of democracy, such as walking point in the boonies, or scrambling around in a tunnel with nothing but a .45 and brass balls the size of cantaloupes. Inexplicably, Libby went on to reveal the name of an undercover CIA agent, thereby putting her life and the lives of her network at grave risk. Who could ever have predicted such an unlikely outcome? Fortunately, though Libby lied to a Grand Jury about all this, George W. Bush, recognizing Libby's inner worth — as only another Andover grad could — spared him the humiliation of being buggered in a federal prison.