Volume 270, No. 6
It seems like a milestone worthy of note: this was the fortnight when the President began issuing barely-veiled death threats against Members of Congress.
We’re happy to announce that the bad news is pretty much limited to official business. This issue includes some reportage on citizens’ response to the administration’s constant flood of inanity.
You can download a pdf of this issue by clicking on this link: https://www.nhgazette.com/pdf/270_06.pdf
Volume 270, No. 5
Well, that was a hell of a fortnight, wasn’t it? But of course, they all are, these days.
So we asked ourselves, “These days every fortnight is just another hellish spectacle. Does that mean that, under the ‘Dog Bites Man’ principle, news no longer exists?”
We answered ourselves, “Uh-uh, Mr. Man. We’re not falling for that bullshit,” and put out another newspaper.
You can download a pdf of it by clicking on this link:
Volume 270, No. 4
For the record, it is merely a coincidence that we are publishing a paper full of ghastly news on the one day of the year devoted to horror.
Obviously, we are not responsible for current events; we only try to report on them them honestly.
Besides, lately the news has been ghastly every day.
And, believe it or not, the news is not entirely bad.
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 270, No. 3
So far, so good: no anonymous armed men rappelling from black helicopters onto the newsroom roof yet. If our luck holds we’ll be at the local No Kings rally tomorrow.
We regret the quasi-apocalyptic tone, but anything else would be inappropriate. We covered the nation’s birth; lately it feels like we may be on hand for its demise.
Success seemed improbable way back when.
Today, so does the survival of this newspaper.
We look forward to, some day, looking back on how fascism was defeated. We expect we’ll be surprised.
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 270, No. 2
Well, whaddya know: here we are, putting out a newspaper in the absence of a functioning government.
Wait a minute. “A functioning government”? Hasn’t that been an oxymoron for quite a while now?
Here’s the good news: the gradual dissolution of whatever had been holding this nation together hasn’t yet disrupted our publication schedule.
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 270, No. 1
We had not expected, as the fortnight began, for current events to simmer down. Not with our draft-dodging President openly fantasizing about napalming Chicago. Once again, though, actual events, shall we say, exceeded our expectations.
Once again, along with a host of more up-to-date news, we included healthy dose of old news. We find it helps to keep things in perspective. Tramps! Mugwumps! Women murdered in Whitechapel, London!
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 269, No. 26
The times, they are confusing. In this fortnight’s papers, we try to make sense of such things as a Fox “News” reporter asking the guy who, despite a literally Gargantuan litany of disqualifications, is generally accepted to currently be president, “How did you find out over the weekend that you were dead?”
Along with a host of more up-to-date news, we included healthy dose old news. We find it helps to keep things in perspective.
To download a pdf of today’s New Hampshire Gazette, just click on this link.
Volume 269, No. 25
To download a pdf of today’s New Hampshire Gazette, just click on this link.
By way of enticement, here are a few selected items from our “Better Old News Than New Lies” department:
The Elbe at Hamburg has crocodiles in it, thirteen having escaped from a menagerie steamer.
In a fight at a Baptist meeting at Monticello, Ga., Aug. 23d, two men were shot dead, one or two mortally wounded, and several badly hurt. Over thirty shots were fired. Those fellows evidently belong to the church militant.
Ogdensburgh customs officials have been arrested charged with stealing opium stored in the custom house. They are reformers.
At an Irish exhibition in Barrack street, London, Aug. 22d, a band from Cork refused to play the British national anthem, and was hissed by the spectators. Members of the band afterward stated that they would not have dared to return to Ireland if they had played the anthem.
Volume 269, No. 24
To download a pdf of today’s New Hampshire Gazette, just click on this link.
By way of enticement, here are a few selected items from our “Better Old News Than New Lies” department:
James McDevitt got shaved in a barber shop at Somerville, Mass., Saturday night, refused to pay for the shave, and was stabbed in the face with a pair of shears by the barber.
According to the returns of the keepers of the Boston public baths, there were 250,000 visitors in July.
Lawrence Donovan, who jumped from the Brooklyn bridge some time ago, and escaped without serious harm, on the 7th inst. jumped from the Hungerford bridge across the Thames at London, and was drowned.
Edward H. Olmstead, head clerk in the bursar’s office at Harvard college has emigrated with $1200 not belonging to him.
Charles Post, the bunco steerer who swindled an aged citizen of Charlestown, Mass., out of $3000, has been arrested in New York.
John Jacobs goes to the penitentiary for four months, for trying to jump off the Brooklyn bridge.