What a difference a fortnight and a half can make. The past three weeks have raised the possibility that we, the people, may not, in fact, be strapped into cheap seats at the glacier races.
To the contrary, we now have evidence that if certain people in strategic positions do the right thing, conditions may change. What’s more, these changes—at least so it appears at the moment, let’s not get ahead of ourselves—might move the nation away from, rather than toward, utter catastrophe.
Obviously, any such bold pronouncement demands extraordinary evidence. Here ’tis:
On the one hand exuberant Democrats, their internecine animosities forgotten in the face of a dire external threat, are finding their voices raised together in joyous harmony.
Suddenly at the top of the ticket, with no obvious running mate and only weeks before the convention, Kamala Harris had to come off the blocks like an Olympian.
From a short list filled with potential pitfalls, she picked a running mate who’s grounded enough to say of Republicans, “These guys are weird, and creepy as hell.”
A Tale of Two Tales
The presidential campaign turned into a real-life production of Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” with a former schoolteacher and National Guardsman taking the role of ad hoc fashion critic.
Meanwhile, Republicans are furiously sputtering after a sudden reversal of fortune. Their campaign strategy had been aimed at attacking a somewhat older opponent. Now it’s their guy who is the oldest candidate. It’s their guy who is querulous, obstinate, crotchety, and rambling. Not to mention the fact that their guy is a felon who is currently out on bail. But enough of that for now—the man’s got more baggage than a Gilded Age dowager.
As for Don Old Grump’s running mate, Shady Vance, the contrast could not be… weirder. By way of illustration, we’ll shift gears, from a quaint old Danish folktale to gonzo journalism, specifically, Hunter S. Thompson’s in his Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72. Considering the source, and our editorial standards, we’ll have to turn the euphemism dial up to about 11.
Lyndon B. Johnson told his campaign manager to spread a filthy rumor about his opponent. The manager protested, saying no one would believe it. Johnson replied, “I know, but let’s make the sonofabitch deny it.”
In this iteration, the Harris campaign had nothing to do with the rumor. That came from—where else?—some random guy on Twitter.
Thanks, though, to J.D. Vance’s weird, creepy vibe, much of the internet, for about a week, seemed obsessed with the idea of Vance doing to a couch what Johnson’s opponent purportedly did to his pigs.
When Republicans are vainly trying to bat away ludicrous rumors, and Democrats are having fun on the campaign trail, you know that the world has truly been turned upside down. Or the U.S., anyway.
This radical change could hardly have come at a more opportune time, with just 88 days left before Election Day.
Deus Ex Crackpotica
Speaking of radical, weird, and creepy, the Republican nominee has been telling evangelical audiences—not previously known to have flocked to hear from and praise serially-divorced chronic adulterers—that this next election will be our last. Republicans have long shown a disdain for democracy, but never before has their presidential candidate been so explicit.
“Christians,” he said two weeks ago, “get out and vote! Just this time—you won’t have to do it any more.”
Here, the old grump reveals his cynical strategy: first, you run campaigns that are so disgusting that no one wants to think about elections ever again. Then he promises that you won’t have to.
Is It a Three Way Race?
Adding to the anxiety attendant upon this race has been the uncertainty surrounding Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. The scion of a fabled dynasty—and the only candidate acknowledged to have a worm in his brain, though we’re suspicious of one other—may finally have gone from potential spoiler to permanent contestant on the defunct Gong Show, thanks to an assist from a dead bear and a bicycle.
No—It’s a Three-Body Problem
ABC’s Martha Raddatz asked Governor Sununu to explain Trump’s promise to end elections. He literally laughed off the question, and Raddatz let him off the hook. Sen. Lindsey Graham did the same on CBS, again without having to answer a follow up.
Time had a recent piece about the nation’s “Political Violence Crisis.” Yes, Trump’s goons attacked the U.S. Capitol. But, says Time, Biden has also “condemned” Trump’s “assault on democracy,” and told Democrats that their “freedom is on the ballot.”
The relationship between our political parties may have undergone a radical change lately, but the lens through which we perceive them seems as myopic as ever.