Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide
(Not for Navigational Purposes)
Sun, Nov 15
2010—Ex-cop James B. Fowler pleads guilty to the 1965 murder of civil rights activist Jimmie Lee Jackson in Ala. He gets six months. 2008—Somali pirates take the MV Sirius Star. With a total value of $250 million, it’s the largest prize ever. 1996—British officials return the Stone of Scone to the Scots from whom they…
Sat, Nov 14
2002—Donald Rumsfeld predicts the Iraq War will last “five days or five weeks or five months…[no] longer….” 1968—In Quang Tri, Marine PFC Frank Baldino, 19, is killed by a tiger. 1965—The First Cav, choppering into the Ia Drang Valley, is surprised to discover six battalions of NVA. 1943—USS W.D. Porter accidentally launches a torpedo—in the…
Fri, Nov 13
2003—Because he would not remove his Ten Commandments monument from the courthouse, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore is himself removed. 1982—The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is dedicated in Washington, D.C. Richard Nixon, Henry Kissinger, and Robert McNamara are no-shows. 1974—Karen Silkwood, a disgruntled Kerr-McGee worker and whistleblower, turns up conveniently dead. 1970—Up to half a million…
Thurs, Nov 12
1999—Congress deregulates Wall Street, to allow for “innovation.” 1984—Four peace activists chip the concrete of a Minuteman II silo in Missouri, for which they’re sentenced to a total of 54 years in prison. 1970—A half-ton of dynamite set off by Oregon highway workers sends parts of an eight-ton sperm whale 100 feet in the air….
Wed, Nov 11
2000—Republicans begin a campaign of election lawfare in Florida. 1975—Australian Prime Minister Geogh Whitlam, who opposes CIA leases at Pine Gap, is, quite by coincidence, fired by Gov.-Gen. John Kerr, longtime beneficiary of CIA largesse. 1956—Hungary falls to the Soviets. 1940—British biplanes sink half the Italian Navy, at anchor in Taranto. 1933—“The Great Black Blizzard,”…
Tues, Nov 10
2004—George W.[MD] Bush nominates a new AG. Alberto Gonzales ends up making John Ashcroft look just a tad less terrible by comparison. 1989—GOP lobbyist, coke-head, blackmailer, and big spender on male prostitutes Craig J. Spence is found dead in a locked Boston hotel room. 1982—The Vietnam Veterans Memorial, a gift to the nation from those…
Mon, Nov 9
2020—“What is the downside for humoring him…?” a “senior Republican official” asks the Washington Post. “It’s not like he’s plotting how to prevent Joe Biden from taking power.” 1998—Brokers who rigged the game at NASDAQ are compelled to pay their bilked customers $1 billion. 1989—TheBerlin Wall suddenly becomes unexpectedly porous. 1979—Zbigniew Brzezinski gets a call:…
Sun, Nov 8
2016—Donald J. Trump wins the Presidency. Everybody else is a loser. 2013—The Navy lifts Ted “Twig” Branch’s clearance, so he can’t read secrets anymore, but leaves him in his job as head of Naval Intelligence. 2010—On TV, George W.[MD] Bush says his mom once asked him for a ride to the hospital, showing him a…
Sat, Nov 7
2020—The Wall Street Journal runs an op-ed by Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney under the headline, “If he loses, Trump will concede gracefully.” 2007—Private Jessica Lynch accuses the Pentagon of exploiting her capture for propaganda purposes. 2000—Sen. John Ashcroft [R-Mo.] is unseated by a dead opponent. 1974—Whistleblower Karen Silkwood’s apartment is found to be heavily…
Fri, Nov 6
2024—Trump cultists gloat that Project 2025—of which he’s been claiming ignorance—“is the agenda. Lol.” 2016—FBI Director James Comey says never mind about those emails. 2012—Trump tweets, “The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy.” 2000—Saddam Hussein stops accepting dollars for oil, thus undermining U.S. hegemony and possibly shortening his own life. 1998—Newt Gingrich says…
Thurs, Nov 5
2024—Despite it all, Democrats still manage to lose the White House. 2006—Texas Asst. DA Bill Conradt commits suicide after a SWAT Team busts down his door. Chris Hansen’s “Perverted Justice” films it all. 1986—In a hijacked helicopter, ’Nam vet Ron McIntosh springs his girl from the prison he recently escaped. 1974—In New Hampshire, Louis C….
Wed, Nov 4
2016—“Calm down,” reads the headline over a Washington Post column, “We’ll be fine no matter who wins.” 2008—Barack Obama wins, sparing the nation from Sarah Palin. 1988—Movie director John Carpenter releases his best film, and his only documentary: “They Live.” 1979—Militant Shi’ite Muslims take 66 Americans hostage in Teheran, dooming the Carter administration. 1975—A neocon…
Tues, Nov 3
2020—The U.S. votes to evict a deadbeat from the White House. 1986—A Lebanese newspaper reveals that the U.S. has been selling arms to the Ayatollah’s regime in Iran. 1979—Communists are fired on by Klansmen and Nazis in Greensboro, N.C. Five die and 11 are wounded, but three trials yield no convictions. 1969—In a speech which…
Mon, Nov 2
2005—The Washington Post reveals that the CIA is “protecting democracy” by running a secret gulag. 2004—Warren Co., Ohio officials say a “terrorist threat” is why they’re counting votes behind locked doors. 2002—“We know he [Saddam Hussein] has chemical weapons,” says George W.[MD] Bush. [He doesn’t.] 2001—“Give war a chance,” writes the N.Y. Times’s Thomas L….
Sun, Nov 1
2003—N.H. Gov. Craig Benson [R.] welcomes the Free State Project. 2001—George W.[MD] Bush signs an Executive Order conveniently hiding his father’s misdeeds as Veep. 1981—TV is just “a toaster with pictures,” says FCC boss Mark Fowler. 1976—Mob fixer Roy Cohn lands Donald Trump a flattering profile in the N.Y. Times, written by the same rube…
Portsmouth, arguably the first town in this country not founded by religious extremists, is bounded on the north and east by the Piscataqua River, the second, third, or fourth fastest-flowing navigable river in the country, depending on whom you choose to believe.
The Piscataqua’s ferocious current is caused by the tide, which, in turn, is caused by the moon. The other player is a vast sunken valley — Great Bay — about ten miles upriver. Twice a day, the moon drags about seventeen billion gallons of seawater — enough to fill 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the river and into Great Bay. This creates a roving hydraulic conflict, as incoming sea and the outgoing river collide. The skirmish line moves from the mouth of the river, up past New Castle, around the bend by the old Naval Prison, under Memorial Bridge, past the tugboats, and on into Great Bay. This can best be seen when the tide is rising.
Twice a day, too, the moon lets all that water go. All the seawater that just fought its way upstream goes back home to the ocean. This is when the Piscataqua earns its title for xth fastest current. Look for the red buoy, at the upstream end of Badger’s Island, bobbing around in the current. It weighs several tons, and it bobs and bounces in the current like a cork.
The river also has its placid moments, around high and low tides. When the river rests, its tugboats and bridges work their hardest. Ships coming in laden with coal, oil, and salt do so at high tide, for more clearance under their keels. They leave empty, riding high in the water, at low tide, to squeeze under Memorial Bridge.