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Out of the Mouth of a Moron

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Out of the Mouth of a Moron

Two weeks ago today, a person whose name has become nearly impossible to avoid spoke to a gaggle of other geriatrics at The Villages, a Golfer’s Valhalla in Florida. We refer, of course, to the President of the purportedly United States of America, who, lest we forget, inexplicably won a second term in 2024, despite having ended his terrible first term by fomenting an insurrection to overthrow an election he lost. Since the median age of the residents there is 73 years, and 97 percent of them are white, our Chief Executive must have felt right at home in this peculiar institution. For the record, we have no objection to that. We’d be happy to see any institution take him, just so long as they keep him. Clearly he felt free to speak his mind, such as it is. But then, where does he not? Some say he is the most garrulous geezer who ever bored anyone to tears while simultaneously frightening them out of…

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Our Human Rights Boomerang

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by Richard Balzano The United States is often called the “world police,” and with reason. Washington tries to police the globe with decreasing success and a brutality that mirrors its own police state, yet framing U.S. foreign policy in legal terms implies, absurdly, that those subjected to “justice the American way” are criminals. Western media backs this up across a spectrum from overt jingoism to reluctant nuance, but the hyperbolic accusations railed against our caricatured adversaries almost always include the charge of human rights violations. Hypocrisy abounds, and the U.S.’s relationship with human rights casts an irony so dark it may yet kill us all. There is much chatter about Iran, Cuba, and Venezuela’s human rights records, but the U.S. is unqualified to claim moral…

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Wed, May 20

2009—The FBI entraps four Muslim men in a bogus Bronx bomb plot. 2004—U.S. and Iraqi troops raid the home and offices of Ahmed Chalabi, formerly the neo-cons’ most trusted source…

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Tues, May 19

 2017—Big game hunter Theunis Botha, 51, dies in Zimbabwe when an elephant shot by a client falls on him. 1956—A 15-megaton bomb test in the South Pacific raises radiation levels…

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Mon, May 18

1992—The 27th Amendment, barring any Congress from raising its own pay, is ratified after a 202 year process. 1982—Sun Myung Moon, a Reverend, is now a convicted tax cheat, too….

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Sun, May 17

2017—Learning his election will be investigated for Russian involvement, President Trump says, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I’m [bleeped].” Sadly, no. 1987—Its…

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Volume 270, No. 18

Here in our newsroom, every fortnight is a brain marathon. Our editor, a lazy person at heart, generally scrimps well enough on energy expenditure to post at least some of the latest paper’s content before throwing in the towel.

This fortnight a petty but ill-timed calamity involving credit card numbers, PINs, passwords—the usual rigamarole, now resolved—took that last bit of energy and set it alight, like a gas flare at an oil well. All those BTUs, gone for nothing…

Ah, well. Such is life in this collapsing empire. We’ll be posting those parts tomorrow. As our longtime readers know, breaking news is not our bailiwick.

Besides, the whole issue is available in pdf. To read it just give this link a click.

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Mike Dater’s Corner

The New Hampshire Gazette’s resident starving artist. Over 20 years of political satire, some whimsical and some occasionally irreverent.

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“Thanks again, as always, for making the now really bad news somewhat easier to tolerate. The truth, which is now seldom spoken, and never spoken by our nation’s “Liar in Chief,” just keeps getting worse and worse. I am thankful for our still (for now, anyway) free press and late night television comedians’ rants posted on Youtube about the state of our country.”

— E.S., Dover, N.H.

Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide
(Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the first town in this country not founded by religious extremists, is bounded on the north and east by the Piscataqua River, the second, third, or fourth fastest-flowing navigable river in the country…read more.