Rest easy, America. It may seem like we’re headed for the rocks, but we’ve got the President’s own mind and sense of morality to protect us.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Going, Going… ?
It’s true. It’s all true. A police state is being built before our eyes. Peaceful people are being shot dead on the streets. The highest ranking* guy in the Executive Branch has sent a squad of his own private cops, formerly known as the FBI, to Fulton County, Georgia, to confiscate 700 boxes of damning evidence†—ballots, voter rolls, and tabulator tapes. The pattern is clear: seize power and end our democratic experiment—perversely, on the 250th Anniversary of its birth. Yet, we are buoyantly optimistic. What could explain such a paradoxical state of mind? Perhaps the item in question has finally been lost. Hear us out, though: while many things are terrible, and the big picture is getting uglier by the day, some things—mighty important things—are at least looking clearer. Will good prevail over evil? Who knows. At this point, that would be an interesting and unexpected plot twist. We’re pretty sure, though, that giving up won’t help the situation. It is essential, these days, to…
