Anna Kilgore, of Springfield, Ohio, called the cops. She couldn’t find her cat, Miss Sassy. Anna suspected that her neighbors, who are Haitian, had eaten the cat. Ohio Senator and Republican vice presidential candidate JD Vance sprang into action. On September 9th, he tweeted: “Months ago I raised the issue of Haitian illegal immigrants draining social services and generally causing chaos all over Springfield, Ohio. “Reports now show that people have had their pets abducted and eaten by people who shouldn’t be in this country. Where is our border czar?” The next day, during the presidential debate, Republican nominee Donald Trump treated the alleged canis- and felisophagy as a burgeoning national security threat: “In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating… they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.” * The luckless co-moderator David Muir—his task akin to herding cats—gamely quoted a statement from Springfield’s City Manager: “There have been no credible reports of…