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“Where is my Roy Cohn?” bleated the President in 2018. How times have changed. Now he’s got the best Roy Cohn ever. She’s young and blonde, like a Hitchcock femme fatale, and she’s exacting ruthless retribution as his Attorney General. Still, it feels like something’s missing, though neither Trump nor Bondi seem to have noticed. She’s a General, right? So why is she out of uniform? Perhaps our disappointment stems from reading too many pulp magazines in our youth: stuff like the famous “Man’s Life,” of “Weasels Ripped My Flesh” fame, whose covers often featured lithe, long-legged dolls with whips, wearing a half-unbuttoned black Nazi uniforms, festooned with silver doodads… Sorry, where were we? Oh, dear. It looks like we have fallen into a privilege trap. From the comparative safety of our labyrinthine editorial offices, as entire apartment blocks are being swarmed by armed masked men rappelling from helicopters, we were complaining that our aesthetic criteria are not being met. This just in: we were… The Case of the Knock-Off Nazis
Perhaps the most lucrative office in the national government, next to the presidency itself, is the clerkship of the supreme court at Washington. It yields an annual income in fees of from $25,000 to $40,000. – New York Evening World [That would be $852,568 to $1,364,109 in today’s debased currency. – The Ed.] The New Hampshire Gazette, November 1, 1888 At Pittsburg, Pa., about the middle of October, Miss Virginia Knox, a young American woman of considerable wealth, was married to Count Di Montcalleri. The couple were expelled from a hotel in Paris on Oct. 29th., the “nobleman” having scandalized the other inmates of the house by beating his bride brutally, her screams arousing the whole house. Mrs. Dr. Strode, of Bernadotte, is the widest-awake,… Where the Money Is
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2024—Trump cultists gloat that Project 2025—of which he’s been claiming ignorance—“is the agenda. Lol.” 2018—Nevada’s 36th district elects brothel-owner Dennis Hoff to the State Assembly by a huge margin. He’s… 2024—Democrats somehow manage to lose the White House to a felonious nutjob who once tried to steal it. 1986—In a hijacked helicopter, ’Nam vet Ron McIntosh springs his girl from… 2016—“Calm down,” reads the headline over a Washington Post column, “We’ll be fine no matter who wins.” 2008—Barack Obama wins, sparing the nation from Sarah Palin. 1988—“John Nada,” [Roddy Piper],… 2020—The U.S. votes to evict a deadbeat from the White House. 1986—A Lebanese newspaper reveals that the U.S. has been selling arms to the Ayatollah’s regime in Iran. 1979—Communists are… Thurs, Nov 6
Wed, Nov 5
Tues, Nov 4
Mon, Nov 3
by W.D. Ehrhart Anyone paying any attention at all to what’s been happening in this country since January 2025 has to be aware of the ongoing and vigorous efforts of our Whitewasher-in-Chief to purge American history of anything that isn’t thoroughly upbeat, positive, and—well, let’s… Whitewashing America
To the editors: This past weekend I stood on the grass edge of a sidewalk for an hour and a half, holding a “no kings” sign, and I watched as hundreds (perhaps thousands) of cars and trucks drove past. Literally several hundreds of drivers and… Project 2027: A Democratic Agenda
–=≈=– For the record, it is merely a coincidence that we are publishing a paper full of ghastly news on the one day of the year devoted to horror. Obviously, we are not responsible for current events; we only try to report on them them honestly. Besides, lately the news has been ghastly every day. And, believe it or not, the news is not entirely bad. To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link. Volume 270, No. 4
A newspaper, a third cousin five times removed,
a freelance insurgency. Watch the video.
The New Hampshire Gazette’s resident starving artist. Over 20 years of political satire, some whimsical and some occasionally irreverent.
“Thanks again, as always, for making the now really bad news somewhat easier to tolerate. The truth, which is now seldom spoken, and never spoken by our nation’s “Liar in Chief,” just keeps getting worse and worse. I am thankful for our still (for now, anyway) free press and late night television comedians’ rants posted on Youtube about the state of our country.”
— E.S., Dover, N.H.
Portsmouth, arguably the first town in this country not founded by religious extremists, is bounded on the north and east by the Piscataqua River, the second, third, or fourth fastest-flowing navigable river in the country…read more.