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Read the Latest Paper Online Volume 265, No. 12, February 26, 2021


Conservatives Flock to Socialist Hellhole, Worship Golden Effigy

The Conservative Political Action Conference [CPAC] for the Year of Our Lord 2021—we hope they appreciate that pious flourish—began yesterday in sunny, socialistic Orlando, Florida. Say what? Socialistic? Sure—what else would you call a place that requires everybody to wear a mask, just to keep the rest of its puny citizens alive? Orlando is the Seat of Orange County, which is ruled—with an iron fist, of course; mustn’t leave out that important detail—by an elected mayor and six commissars. They claim to be “commissioners,” but…

Well, That Mystery is Finally Solved…

It’s about damn time. What has it been, now…57 years? “Lee Harvey Oswald was a KGB associate who was personally instructed by Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev to assassinate President Kennedy. Sometime shortly thereafter, the Soviets changed their minds, and Oswald was told to drop the plan. But Oswald, harboring a blinding love for all things USSR, refused.” At least, so say the authors of Operation Dragon: Inside the Kremlin’s secret war against the United States,…

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“Thanks again, as always, for making the now really bad news somewhat easier to tolerate. The truth, which is now seldom spoken, and never spoken by our nation’s “Liar in Chief,” just keeps getting worse and worse. I am thankful for our still (for now, anyway) free press and late night television comedians’ rants posted on Youtube about the state of our country.”

— E.S., Dover, N.H.

Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide
(Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the first town in this country not founded by religious extremists, is bounded on the north and east by the Piscataqua River, the second, third, or fourth fastest-flowing navigable river in the country…read more.