Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide
(Not for Navigational Purposes)
Portsmouth, arguably the first town in this country not founded by religious extremists, is bounded on the north and east by the Piscataqua River, the second, third, or fourth fastest-flowing navigable river in the country…read more.
2014—Cards Against Humanity, to express its disdain for consumerism on Black Friday, removes all products but one from its online store: a $6 box of “literal feces, from an actual…
2002—Donald Rumsfeld signs off on “Category III” interrogation techniques—namely, torture. 2001—Gen. Tommy Franks, working on catching Osama bin Laden, is told by Donald Rumsfeld to drop that and revise plans…
2000—Katherine Harris, Florida’s Secretary of Stateand, coincidentally, the Bush campaign’s state co-chair, declares Dubya the winner. 1975—George Gainous, son of a heroin importer, climbs the White House fence to ask…
1997—In Plymouth, Mass., police serve Native American demonstrators a generous helping of pepper-spray. 1986—As Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese confesses that profits from illegal arms sales to Iran went…
2006—“The only way we can win [in Iraq],” says George W.[MD] Bush, “is to leave before the job is done.” 1979—The U.S. admits troops in ’Nam were hit by Agent…
1986—Two men escape from a maximum-security prison in Rome in a hijacked helicopter. 1981—R. Reagan signs a secret directive creating the [illegal] Contras. 1976—Jerry Lee Lewis is arrested outside Graceland…
2000—Two dozen well-dressed hooligans, many on the GOP’s payroll, intimidate Miami election officials into shutting down a Presidential recount. 1975—U.S.S. John F. Kennedy and U.S.S. Belknap collide in the night…
2016—The Guardian reports that D. Trump’s grandfather was refused re-entry to Germany in 1905 because he had dodged military service. 2004—Donald Trump’s casinos in Atlantic City file for bankruptcy. 1986—Ollie…
2008—Sarah Palin is interviewed on live TV while, in the background, turkeys are being slaughtered. 1980—In Louisiana, an oil rig drilling in the wrong spot hits a salt mine under…
2005—Marines in Haditha murder 24 unarmed Iraqi men, women, and children. One man is tried and convicted of dereliciton of duty. 1969—Congress cleverly undermines the opposition to the Vietnam War…
2005—Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) apologizes to ’Nam combat vet Rep. Jack Murtha (D-Pa.) on the House floor for implying he’s a coward. 1999—Texas A&M’s student-built Bonfire—a 59-foot stack of vertical…
2008—Citigroup announces it will sack 52,000 workers. 2006—“We’ll succeed [in Iraq] unless we quit,” says George W.[MD] Bush. 2003—An Austrian muscleman becomes Governator of California. 1995—Multitasking President Clinton speaks on…
2000—Bill Clinton goes to Vietnam — finally, when it’s safe, as President. 1989—U.S.-backed pro-government “freedom fighters” in El Salvador murder six Jesuit priests, their housekeeper, and the housekeeper’s daughter. 1969—President…
2010—Ex-cop James B. Fowler pleads guilty to the 1965 murder of civil rights activist Jimmie Lee Jackson in Ala. He gets six months. 1996—British officials return the Stone of Scone…
2002—Donald Rumsfeld predicts the Iraq War will last “five days or five weeks or five months…[no] longer….” 1968—In Quang Tri, Marine PFC Frank Baldino, 19, is killed by a tiger….
2003—Because he would not remove his Ten Commandments monument from the courthouse, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore is himself removed. 1982—The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is dedicated in Washington, D.C. Richard…
2001—Flight 587 falls apart and crashes off Queens, N.Y., killing 261. 1970—A half ton of dynamite set off by Oregon highway workers sends parts of an eight-ton sperm whale 100…
2000—Republicans go to court to stop manual recounts in Florida. 1956—The last pockets of resistance are suppressed in Hungary. 1940—The Royal Navy destroys half the Italian Navy, at anchor in…
2004—George W.[MD] Bush nominates a new Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales—who goes on to make his predecessor John Ashcroft look slightly less terrible by comparison. 1982—The Vietnam Veterans Memorial, a gift…
1998—Brokers who rigged the game at NASDAQ are compelled to pay their bilked customers $1 billion. 1989—The Berlin Wall suddenly becomes unexpectedly porous. 1979—A computer error leads the U.S. Air…
2016—Donald J. Trump wins the Presidency. Everybody else is a loser. 2013—The Navy suspends the security clearance of Vice Admiral Ted “Twig” Branch, Director of Naval Intelligence. Though he’s now…
2008—Sarah Palin is interviewed on live TV while, in the background, turkeys are being slaughtered. 1980—In Louisiana, an oil rig drilling in the wrong spot hits a salt mine under…
2007—Private Jessica Lynch accuses the Pentagon of exploiting her capture for propaganda purposes. 1983—The all-woman Armed Resistance Movement bombs the U.S. Capitol; $1 million in damage results. 1961—Under Sec. of…
2018—Nevada’s 36th district elects brothel-owner Dennis Hoff to the State Assembly by a huge margin. He’s been dead for three weeks. 2016—FBI Director James Comey says never mind about those…
2004—A Franklin Co. Ohio official reports that Pres. Bush’s 3,893 vote total in one district is erroneous—only 638 ballots were cast. 1986—’Nam vet Ron McIntosh hijacks a helicopter and uses…
2008—As America elects Obama, California restricts LGBT rights. 1979—Militant Shi’ite Muslims take 66 Americans hostage in Teheran, dooming the Carter administration. 1964—Lenny Bruce is found guilty of obscenity in New…
1998—Charlotte Burks [D] is elected to succeed her late husband, Tennessee Senator Tommy Burks. Without campaigning, she gets 95 percent of the votes cast. Byron Low Tax Looper, a Republican…
2005—The Washington Post reveals that the CIA is protecting democracy by running a secret gulag. 2004—Warren Co., Ohio officials say a “terrorist threat” is why they’re counting votes behind locked…
