Category: The Alleged News® - The New Hampshire Gazette

Here Comes the Judge

May 7, 2021 by The Alleged Editor

Judge Amy Berman Jackson started the week off with a bang. Because hardly anyone seemed to be listening, and because the Memorandum Opinion she signed on May 3rd explained a matter of great import exceedingly well, and because it suggests that there is some slight possibility that justice—real justice—might someday actually prevail, we’ll quote her memorandum below, at considerable length. Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington [CREW] had asked the Justice Department for two documents. Jackson ruled that CREW was entitled to get one. That may be enough. Take it away, Judge Amy Berman Jackson: On Friday, March 22, 2019, Special Counsel Robert S. …

What’s New On the Republican Family Values Front?

April 23, 2021April 23, 2021 by The Alleged Editor

When last we checked, Rep. Matt Gaetz [R-Fla.] was still slated to be the featured speaker at the Nashua Republican City Committee’s annual “Steak Out,” scheduled for August 27. We’re worried, though, that Nashua Republicans might give in to the Governor’s pleas and disinvite him. If they do, we’ll lose our news hook. So, let’s check in on this Florida Man. On March 24th, Fox’s Paul Steinhauser breathlessly reported: “EXCLUSIVE—No. He’s not mulling a 2024 presidential run. “But. “Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida is headed to the first-in-the-nation presidential primary state of New Hampshire this summer, to help raise money for fellow Republicans. “Multiple Republican …

No more water, but fire next time…

April 9, 2021April 9, 2021 by The Alleged Editor

Well, maybe water and fire…. Starting this fortnight’s news at the top, we can report that things are looking a little squishy up there at the top of the ancient oblate spheroid we all call home. It’s early in the season, but according one authoritative source,* the extent of arctic sea ice is now lower than it was in 2012, and has been since mid-February. That’s not good, since 2012 holds the record for minimum sea ice. Members of the Party of Lincoln may choose to refute this, but it’s widely believed that ice melts as a result of higher temperatures. Another phenomenon associated with …

Happy National Vietnam War Veterans Day!

March 26, 2021March 26, 2021 by The Alleged Editor

Monday, March 29th will be National Vietnam War Veterans Day, as we all know. “National Vietnam War Veterans Day,” according to Wikipedia,* “is a U.S. holiday observed annually on March 29. It recognizes veterans who served in the U.S. military during the Vietnam War. It should not be confused with Veterans Day.” This particular day was chosen because “on March 29, 1973, Military Assistance Command, Vietnam (MACV) was disbanded and the last U.S. combat troops departed the Republic of Vietnam.” MACV was the successor to MAAG, the Military Assistance Advisory Group, which was sent by Harry Truman, in 1950, to help the French hang onto …

Neoliberalism’s Latest Offering

March 12, 2021 by The Alleged Editor

A recent headline out of South Carolina compels us to drag the term neoliberalism out of the closet; our apologies to the reader. Whenever we use this term we meet with some pushback from certain quarters—and rightly so. It’s one of those abstract, obscure, multi-syllabic terms that is rarely if ever taught in school. It would be downright rude to just throw in on the page and expect everyone to understand what we mean. In those rare cases when it comes up in conversation, an argument is probably underway—or about to begin. These negative characteristics tend to reduce the use—and therefore the usefulness—of the word. …

Well, That Mystery is Finally Solved…

February 26, 2021February 26, 2021 by William Marvel

It’s about damn time. What has it been, now…57 years? “Lee Harvey Oswald was a KGB associate who was personally instructed by Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev to assassinate President Kennedy. Sometime shortly thereafter, the Soviets changed their minds, and Oswald was told to drop the plan. But Oswald, harboring a blinding love for all things USSR, refused.” At least, so say the authors of Operation Dragon: Inside the Kremlin’s secret war against the United States, according to a write-up about the book in Monday’s New York Post. “Well,” you may well say, “that assertion seems rather bold. What evidence do the authors have have to …