The Alleged News®

Better Old News Than New Lies

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The City Loses Another Suit Judge Chase handed down his decision in the suit of John E. Rider vs. the city on Tuesday and ordered that the claim of the ex-alderman be paid. Emery and Hatch for Rider, Page for the city. There still remains one suit for the city to lose, that for the payment of the south-end fountain and we should advise the city to settle that at once. Every law suit into which the city has been drawn during the past two yearts has been lost and it seems as if our legal advice was proving rather costly for our tax-payers. Police …

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Better Old News Than New Lies

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Portsmouth, Nov. 3, 1892 This is the last issue of the Gazette to reach our readers before the presidential election. … no man who loves his country… can hesitate about voting the republican ticket, both national and state. … If unworthy local candidates have been put in nomination, it is also the duty of loyal republicans to reject them for the future good of the party. … The nomination of Henry W. Blair for Congress in the first congressional district is not to the credit of the republican party, and his past record is not such as to hold out any hope that he will …

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Meet Bullethead,
Armed Prophet of the Orange Messiah

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Ex-President and current Republican nominee Donald J. “Jazz Hands” Trump dazzled a spellbound audience at a town hall event near Philadelphia. Hardly speaking for about half an hour, instead he showed off his “hip” and “with-it” dance moves, to the sound of the immortal gay anthem, “Y.M.C.A.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Unkind partisans wondered whether the cavalry had arrived, in the form of a cerebrovascular event. The Showman-in-Chief’s fancy footwork distracted the media from another event, in Greeley, Pa., where Sean “Bullethead” Moon’s Rod of Iron Ministries was holding a Freedom Festival. Among the featured speakers was Trump’s former National Security Advisor, …

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“Nothing to see here, move along…” – A.G. William Barr

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Citizens and journalists alike, we live in chaos by design. For a decade, the coalition of grifters and politicians who seem to dominate our politics and culture have deployed Generaloberst Steve Bannon’s strategy of “flooding the zone with shit” so successfully that news stories which once would have been on everyone’s lips now go unremarked. That’s why we’ve been asking The Google about the phrase “$10 million.” We were immediately introduced to “a 19-year-old British garbage man [who in 2002] won 10 million pounds (approx $15 million) on the lottery. He spent it all on drugs, gambling and prostitutes and 8 years later was back …

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The Undemocratic Reality of Capitalism

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by Richard D. Wolff Fans of capitalism like to say it is democratic or that it supports democracy. Some have stretched language so far as to literally equate capitalism with democracy, using the terms interchangeably. No matter how many times that is repeated, it is simply not true and never was. Indeed, it is much more accurate to say that capitalism and democracy are opposites. To see why, you have only to look at capitalism as a production system where employees enter into a relationship with employers, where a few people are the boss, and most people simply work doing what they are told to …

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‘Hot Enough For Ya?’

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Heat Records Falling Like Dominos“Pay No Attention,” Say Politicos This past Sunday, July 21st, was the hottest day ever recorded on Earth—which, other than in Elon Musk’s drug-addled dreams, is the only place in the universe known to be habitable by our species. For now, anyway. That heat record stood for 24 hours. It was surpassed on Monday, the New York Times reported Wednesday. While this milestone is technically news, it may not be all that surprising. NOAA reported in June that May had been the 12th consecutive warmest month on record. Rounding out our review of broken records, while 2023 was the hottest year …

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