The Alleged News®

Not Many Regard Him as Innocent

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Edward E. Carlton, the husband of Mrs. Etta M. Carlton, who was brutally murdered in her house at Watertown, Mass., in March, 1883, died in Texas a few weeks ago from injuries received by falling from a railroad train. Carlton hung around Boston for a year after his wife’s murder, until he succeeded in collecting a $5,000 insurance on her life. He was able to prove that he had no hand in the actual killing of his wife, but there are probably not many persons who regard him as innocent of the crime. • Senator [Charles W.] Jones [Democrat] of Florida has been absent from …

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The rule works both ways

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A medical authority says “persons have been bitten by mad dogs and have not gone mad.” And then, again, some persons get mad on being bitten by a dog that is not mad. The rule works both ways. Holden Dick, an Indian, and Vincente Olivas, a Mexican, both convicted murderers, were taken out of jail at Susanville, California, Jan. 28th, and hanged to beams in the woodshed of the court house by a mob. During the recent blizzard two unknown families, consisting of nine persons, were frozen to death near San Bois, Choctaw Nation, and their four horses were frozen in harness. The party were …

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“Senator Payne represents the Standard Oil Co.”

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The Ohio house of representatives has appointed a committee of five members to investigate the charges made against four members of the present house, that they accepted bribes to vote for Henry B. Payne for United States senator while members of the last general assembly. Senator Payne represents the Standard Oil Co., and incidentally the democracy. [Subsequent investigations made it clear that Washington Freemen, our editor in 1886, was justified in his suspicions. Nevertheless, Payne’s colleagues in the Senate—perhaps not feeling qualified to cast the first stone—declined to expel him. – The Ed.] A man named Lapour killed the sheriff of Colfax county, Neb., Jan. …

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We’ve All Done It

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[Who among us has never written a check, early in January, and written upon it the previous year’s date? The same pitfall awaits publishers. In 1886, our predecessor, Washington Freeman, fell victim to it. We did the same one year, we can’t recall exactly when. — The Ed.] The police of Detroit, Mich., formed themselves into a mob on the night of Dec. 29th, and destroyed the office of the Sunday Sun, a sensational newspaper which had criticized their conduct. The streets of Lawrence, Mass., are now lighted with the Edison incandescent electric light. Judge Yates, of Peoria, Ill., has gone to Canada after stealing …

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Fake News in a Bottle

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SANDWICH, MASS., Dec. 14 – A bottle containing the following note was picked up on the beach to-day, three miles below Sandwich harbor: “Bark J.R. Humphrey, Bath, Me. We were out in the storm of November 25, and we wrote this to our friends, for when it is found we will be at the bottom of the wild ocean, hoping that you will pray for us and tell your friends.” Signed, John Wilson, captain, Pat Hoey, Tim Lewis, John O’Neil, Billy Cartell. On the reverse side was: “We are all lost.” [There is no such vessel as the “Bark J.R. Humphrey of Bath, Me.,” or …

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Where the Money Is

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Perhaps the most lucrative office in the national government, next to the presidency itself, is the clerkship of the supreme court at Washington. It yields an annual income in fees of from $25,000 to $40,000. – New York Evening World [That would be $852,568 to $1,364,109 in today’s debased currency. – The Ed.] The New Hampshire Gazette, November 1, 1888 At Pittsburg, Pa., about the middle of October, Miss Virginia Knox, a young American woman of considerable wealth, was married to Count Di Montcalleri. The couple were expelled from a hotel in Paris on Oct. 29th., the “nobleman” having scandalized the other inmates of the …

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