Mash Notes, Hate Mail & Other Correspondence

Lake Trump

Dear Sir, Effective immediately and in perpetuity, I hereby officially rename the water in my toilet bowl Lake Trump. William D. Ehrhart Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania William: Well, that’s settled. Neatly done. We notice that you make no claim to exclusivity. Given the near-ubiquity of such facilities in separate and distinct real estate parcels all over the nation—and the world—we see no reason why others who may be so inclined should not emulate your exquisitely appropriate designation. The Editor –=≈=– Shaheen is a Pragmatic Democrat To the Editor: Having run in and been elected to local and state offices we know the effort that is needed not just to …

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Greetings From the Forest

[No salutation necessary.] I’m sending you some stamps in hopes that it will help with the costs of mailing out copies of the Gazette. I don’t have to tell you the cost of one stamp!!! I thought I was going to pass out in the Post Office lobby when they told me! It’s like Old Willie said: “The World’s all going to ‘Pot;’ Whether we like it or not. The Best I can tell the World’s going to hell and we’re sure going to miss it a lot. All the Whisky in Lynchburg, Tenn. ain’t going to hit the spot. I’ve got a hundred dollar …

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Much Worse Than the Vandals

To the Editor: Trump’s right about vandals damaging the reflecting pool; however, the truth is Trump is the vandal. His hire-the-incompetent approach to government is ruining more than the reflecting pond. He vandalized the Kennedy Center when he defaced it with his name. Millions of taxpayers’ dollars brought back the Kennedy (only) Center. He vandalized the White House by demolishing the East Wing. Like the ignorant Vandals, history means nothing to Trump. He vandalized the Rose Garden by paving it over. Like ancient Vandals he destroys places of beauty. He vandalized signage throughout our national parks. Like illiterate Vandals, Trump doesn’t read. He’ll vandalize the …

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N.H. DOE’s “Nuclear Roadmap”

To the N.H. Department of Energy, Concord, N.H.: Dear Sirs, On behalf of Seacoast Anti-Pollution League (SAPL) and our approximately 300 members throughout the Seacoast region of New Hampshire, I’d like to submit the following comments in regard to your “Nuclear Roadmap” process. In considering an energy “roadmap,” I thought of a famous essay in Foreign Affairs, by energy expert Amory Lovins of Rocky Mountain Institute—which was published 50 years ago this year. In it, he posited two paths to our energy future—50 years on—dubbed “hard” and “soft,” and you can likely guess which is which. While the soft path was mostly neglected over the …

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U.S. Reds Reject Trump’s Labeling

NEW YORK—The Communist Party U.S.A. (CPUSA) condemned President Trump’s latest red‑baiting tirade against the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) primary victories in New York and the District of Columbia mayoral candidate Janeese Lewis George, calling it a dangerous escalation of anti‑communist hysteria. “MAGA is going to lose the midterms and Trump’s getting desperate,” co-chair Rossana Cambron said. On Friday, [June 26th,] President Trump told the Faith & Freedom Coalition that communism is the “greatest threat” facing the United States in its 250 year history. “They’re animals! These ruthless Communists will attack all religions but, in particular, Christianity,” he said. The party’s co-chair, Joe Sims, responded …

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Should We Call Them What They Are?

To the Editor, I’ve been wracking my brain for a name to describe the new class of ultra-wealthy billionaires—some 900 strong—who are making significant changes to our lives. Some call them the one-percent. I find that’s not very descriptive. Since they give enormous amounts of money to influence state and federal legislation, political candidates, elections, judicial appointments, etc.—all to continue their own legacy at the cost of the rest of us, it seems fitting that they have their own name. I’ll call them the Parasite Class. The dictionary defines a parasite as “a person who lives at the expense of another or others without making …

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