Meet Bullethead,
Armed Prophet of the Orange Messiah

Ex-President and current Republican nominee Donald J. “Jazz Hands” Trump dazzled a spellbound audience at a town hall event near Philadelphia. Hardly speaking for about half an hour, instead he showed off his “hip” and “with-it” dance moves, to the sound of the immortal gay anthem, “Y.M.C.A.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Unkind partisans wondered whether the cavalry had arrived, in the form of a cerebrovascular event.

Sean Moon and his a crown of bullets. A son of Rev. Sun Myung Moon, he succeeded his father as head of the Unification Church in 2008. Excommunicated as a schismatic by his mother in 2012, he called her the “Whore of Babylon” and founded the Rod of Iron Ministries, which fetishizes the AR-15.

The Showman-in-Chief’s fancy footwork distracted the media from another event, in Greeley, Pa., where Sean “Bullethead” Moon’s Rod of Iron Ministries was holding a Freedom Festival. Among the featured speakers was Trump’s former National Security Advisor, General Michael Flynn. Despite having fired Flynn for lying, three weeks into the job, the ever-magnanimous Trump has told the General he’ll hire him back if he gets re-elected.

During a Q and A, a patriotic citizen asked Flynn if he would “sit at the head of a military tribunal to not only drain the swamp, but imprison the swamp, and on a few occasions, execute the swamp.”

Flynn responded, “These people are already up to no good, so we gotta win first. We win, and then Katie Bar the door. Believe me, the gates of hell, my hell will be unleashed.”

A Potentially Baffling Segue…

And now for something completely different. In order to distract our readers from the sometimes distressing news of the day, we present a brief item, from Wikipedia, regarding ecclesiastical architecture in a foreign land:

A mosaic in the Main Cathedral of the Russian Armed Forces in Moscow, commemorating the Soviet Armed Forces and some of its most important World War II battles. Photo by Natalia Senatorova. This photo was originally published at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Cathedral_of_the_Russian_Armed_Forces. That photo and this remix are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.

“The church, [the Main Cathedral of the Russian Armed Forces in Moscow] and the imagery within it, have been linked to the ‘Russkiy mir’ or ‘Russian world’ theology which some Orthodox Christian Churches outside Russia have described as a heresy. This ideology has been described in the Financial Times as ‘Putin’s creation of an ideology that fuses respect for Russia’s Tsarist, Orthodox past with reverence for the Soviet defeat of fascism in the Second World War. This is epitomised in the Main Cathedral of the Russian Armed Forces, 40 miles west of Moscow, opened in 2020.’ During the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the church has come to be seen as a symbol of Russian militarism, with Russian operations in Ukraine being described as ‘holy’ by Russian authorities.”

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