by W.D. Ehrhart
During the recent visit of Britain’s King Charles III to the U.S., I was fascinated to see that in almost every photograph of him, he is sporting a chestful of medals—eight or ten or a dozen of them—and one around his neck the way an American would wear the Medal of Honor, America’s highest decoration for heroism. I found myself wondering what Charles, who at age 77 is a few weeks younger than me, had done to amass such a spectacular array of medals.
Charles did serve on active duty in both the Royal Air Force and the Royal Navy for a total of five years between the ages of 23 and 28, and among other duties, flew helicopters and even commanded a minesweeper. But he never experienced combat or served in a war zone. So what are all those medals for?
It turns out that they are pretty much like the American National Defense Service Medal, which we Marines used to call the Sioux City Occupation Award or the Geedunk Badge. A Thanks-for-Showing-Up award that everyone got after 90 days of military service. At the age of 4 & ½, Charles was awarded a Coronation Medal when his mother was crowned queen in 1953. And he got additional medals for his mother’s 25th, 50th, 60th, and 70th anniversaries on the throne.
Charles was awarded other medals for “distinguished service in the armed forces, science, art, literature, or the promotion of culture” from various British commonwealth nations including Australia, Canada, and New Zealand. And he has been awarded medals from Britain, Canada, and New Zealand for “long service” of a dozen years or more in their militaries.
I had to scratch my head at that since he only served five years in the British armed forces, but I guess when you’re the Prince of Wales, which he was for years and years until he finally got to be king himself, you get stuff from other countries who recognize the British monarchy as being theirs, too.
And I guess that if you’re royalty, it’s kind of like being a general or admiral in the U.S. military where you’re never really considered “retired,” and can be called back to active duty at any time. So maybe that’s how Charles gets credit for “long service” in spite of the fact that he never actually served twelve years in the Canadian armed forces or fifteen years in the armed forces of New Zealand.
In any case, when he’s wearing all those decorations, he brings to mind Audie Murphy, the most decorated serviceman of the Second World War, or Smedley Darlington Butler, the most decorated U.S. Marine in the history of the Corps (though some might say that honor belongs to Lewis “Chesty” Puller, who never was awarded the Medal of Honor—Butler was awarded two—but earned five Navy Crosses and a Distinguished Service Cross).
So how come King Charles III decks himself out to look like some kind of—I don’t know—warrior hero or something when pretty much he got all that stuff just for being the heir to the throne of Queen Elizabeth II? It strikes me as a bit cheesy, like trying to make himself look more impressive than he actually is.
I mean, okay, he’s the King of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I guess he’s still considered the King of Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, and maybe of Bermuda and Gibraltar and some other places like that. The British Virgin Islands? I don’t really know how that sort of thing works. I stopped paying attention to the British monarchy back in about 1776. Figuratively speaking at least.
After all, we here in this country have our own problems with monarchists who insist on inflating their importance. Or rather, to be more direct, a president who wants to be, thinks he is, and behaves as if he were a king. He’s more than once expressed a desire to receive the Purple Heart Medal, and may yet award himself one. He’s put his name on the Kennedy Center, wants it on U.S. currency, is getting his photo put on U.S. passports, and has proposed a triumphal Trump Arch.
Our imperial president has ordered his personal Gestapo—in the form of ICE agents—into the towns and cities of America to arrest, abuse, and murder illegal and legal immigrants and even U.S. citizens. He’s invaded at least one foreign country and launched a major war against another foreign country entirely on his own imagined imperial authority alone. And he’s alienated almost every other country on the planet, including some of this country’s oldest and closest allies.
At least King Charles, as a young man, did serve on active duty in the military, did learn to fly a military helicopter, and served at sea on military ships while our King Donald weaseled his way out of any military service at all when the podiatrist who was renting an office from Fred Trump got Fred’s son a medical deferment for bone spurs (which, one cannot help noting, have never inhibited his ability to play golf multiple times a week throughout his life).
And I haven’t heard that Charles intends to rename the Albert Hall or Big Ben or the Tower of London. Nor has King Charles started any wars since his mother died, or ordered the kidnapping of any foreign heads of state, or told any of Britain’s allies and treaty partners to go piss up a rope, or threatened to invade Greenland if he’s not given the Nobel Peace Prize.
All things considered, I find myself wishing that those Founding Fathers of ours had maybe been a little less hasty in getting rid of the British monarchy. Right about now, I’d say we could use a little dignity and decency in our leadership. King Charles may seem a bit superficial with his chestful of largely meaningless medals, but at least he’s not malignant or dangerous or despicable.
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W.D. Ehrhart is a retired Master Teacher of History & English, and author of a Vietnam War memoir trilogy published by McFarland.