The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle
admin Saturday, August 29, 2009 — It is with great alarm that we report that, according to the Lyndon LaRouche Outer Space Choir, the President of the United States, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, intends to terminate the life of your dear old Grandma. NB — Fortunately, we suspect the Choir may not have all its facts entirely straight. PS — We have additional, less inflamatory footage of this event. We hope to present it soon.
Monday, August 24, 2009 — Granted, it’s not exactly breaking news. The event took place August 7th. But we do what we can. Herewith, exclusive footage, or inchage, of the event that copyright law prohibits us from calling anything like “Tall Ships, 2009.” Woops … Sadly, the lovely bridge in the background is still in danger.
Friday, August 14, 2009 — Howie Carr allowed a caller named “Debbie” to commit what seems to us like a slander on his radio show Tuesday [visitors are invited to employ The Google to find a link] against one of the Seacoast’s most beloved musical ensembles. Thanks to our pal Dave at The Wire for forwarding the following audio clip: [audio:https://www.nhgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/an-unpleasant-bunch.mov] Here’s a transcript: Guitar intro … Announcer: “Broadcasting from the New Balance World Headquarters Building, this is the Howie Carr Show.” Carr: “Are you glad you went, Debbie?” Debbie: “You know what? Sometimes you’ve got to stand up and be counted, Howie. And I …
Final Update; 9:00 p.m. — Inside the Portsmouth High School gym, undercover Moslem terrorist Barack Hussein Obama outlined his plan for reforming Americas health care system by increasing efficiency and eliminating billions in needless subsidies for insurance companies, while improving care for all, then gave thoughtful and lucid answers to a broad array of questions Meanwhile, outside the gym, this mild-mannered patriotic American conveyed a certain lack of enthusiasm for his proposals: Update; 3:15 p.m. — MSNBC displays its quaint naivete about the laws of the state of New Hampshire, as a resident lives out the true meaning of the libertarian creed: what’s the point …
Portsmouth, Monday, August 10, 2009 — Barack Obama, the crazed Kenyan terrorist who was sworn in as President by the traitorous Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, terrorized senior citizens and two pigeons Saturday afternoon, in preparation for the Town Hall meeting on health care to be held at Portsmouth Public High School tomorrow. Obama, a Muslim, personally flew Marine One over Keefe House, home to 58 members of The Greatest Generation™, to intimidate the occupants and dissuade them from appearing Tuesday. Either that, or he was searching for alternative routes of egress, in case his sinister plot to euthanize the Town Hall audience goes …
Monday, July 27, 2009 — We’ve recently caught up with our posted papers. The pdf file for our June 19 paper is here, and the pdf file for our July 3 paper is here. The browser-readable version of our July 3 paper is here. We apologize for the poor service on this front. The failure was on the part of the editor. He’s a hard man to fire. While we’re interrupting the serene stillness of this site, congratulations to our Moving Pictures reviewer, Rodman Philbrick. His The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg recently drew this praise from Anita Silvey, author of “100 Best …