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2003—Lightning strikes a warehouse in Bardstown, Ky. In the fire that results, 19,000 barrels release a flaming river: 800,000 gallons of Jim Beam. Thousands of fish die as high winds whip up a 100-foot firenado. 1992—Republicans re-nominate the Bush/Quayle ticket. [Snicker.] 1991—The captain and officers of the sinking Oceanos abandon the ship—and its passengers. Entertainers organize a successful rescue of all aboard. 1987—The FCC jettisons the Fairness Doctrine, declaring it “restricts the journalistic freedom of broadcasters.” 1964—The U.S.S. Maddox and U.S.S. Turner Joy report a second torpedo attack in Gulf of Tonkin. There are no casualties; nor is there any damage. Defense Secretary McNamara withholds …

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1981—Air traffic controllers give Ronald Reagan his cue to grandstand. 1980—Ronald Reagan touts “states’ rights” in his first post-convention speech—two miles from the site where, 19 years earlier, three murdered civil rights workers were buried. 1971—New Hampshire man Alan Shepard hits a golf ball on the moon. 1966—RIP Lenny Bruce, prosecuted to death at the age of 40. 1962—Given a huge shot of LSD by a CIA subcontractor, Tusko the elephant, “pride of the Oklahoma City Zoo,” keels over, defecates, and shudders. Big doses of anti-psychotics and tranquilizers don’t help; he dies. 1961—Byron Rickards, piloting a Boeing 707 over New Mexico, is skyjacked by father …

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2000—The GOP picks George W.[MD] Bush to preside, and Dick “Dick” Cheney to run the country. 1993—A short circuit sends a self-destruct command to a Titan IV rocket which blows up over the Pacific destroying $1 billion in spy satellites. 1990—Iraq invades Kuwait. 1964—The U.S.S. Maddox, in North Vietnamese territorial waters to support covert South Vietnamese attacks, fires on North Vietnamese torpedo boats. When they fire back, Maddox reports an “unprovoked” attack. 1946—Disgruntled veterans in Athens, Tenn. prevail over a crooked Democratic machine, thanks to several well-placed dynamite blasts. 1943—Treblinka prisoners revolt. Only 40 survive, but they close the camp. 1943—The nimble American PT boat …

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2007—An interstate highway bridge in Minneapolis collapses, killing 13. 2002—The George W.[MD] Bush administration adopts a new policy: torture is now the American Way. 1974—Vice President Ford meets with Al Haig for 50 minutes; they talk about Nixon perhaps resigning, and a possible pardon from Ford. It’s all quite kosher, though Haig did sign the official log under an assumed name. 1972—The Washington Post reports on a “two-bit burglary” at DNC HQ. 1972—First Lt. G.W.[MD] Bush loses his Air National Guard flying status; he skipped a required physical exam that included a drug test. 1969—Herb Kalmbach accepts a $100,000 bribe from milk producers on behalf …

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2001—Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld sends a memo to Under Secretary for Policy Douglas Feith: “We ought to have on our radar screen oil—Venezuela, the Caucasus, Indonesia—anywhere we think it may exist and how it fits into our strategies.” 1999—Eugene Shoemaker becomes the first Earthling to have his cremated remains interred on the moon. 1996—Gerald Ford and George H.[H.] Walker Bush uphold the dignity of their former office by speaking for pay before followers of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon. 1974—Richard Nixon’s former advisor John Ehrlichman gets a free five-year stay at a felons’ country club. 1972—Tom Eagleton withdraws his candidacy; the public is shocked. 1971—The …

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