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2008—In his last (yay!) State of the Union speech, George W.[MD] Bush promises his budget will keep the U.S. “on track for a surplus in 2012.” 2004—U.S. weapons inspector David Kay tells the Senate pre-war WMD intelligence was “almost all wrong.” 2003—In his State of the Union, George W.[MD] Bush lies about tubes, viruses, alliances, and uranium to justify his next war. 1998—Born in 1889, the son of a man once enslaved, John Morton-Finney retires from his law practice at 107. 1986—Ronald Reagan’s State of the Union is rescheduled; his Challenger applause line turned into a tragedy. 1969—Unocal drillers using sub-standard pipe cause a 100,000-barrel …

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2015—It snows so hard in Portsmouth that mail carriers fail to make their appointed rounds. 2008—The NSA warns that a malfunctioning satellite as big as a bus is about to fall out of orbit. 2005—Veep Dick “Dick” Cheney wears a down parka and ski cap to an Auschwitz memorial ceremony. 2005—Salon reveals thathack writer Michael McManus has been paid $10,000 to promote Bush programs. 1973—Eleven hours before a cease fire takes effect, an artillery shell makes Col. William B. Nolde the last official American combat casualty of the Vietnam War. 1972—White house “plumber” G. Gordon Liddy presents Attorney General John Mitchell with a plan to …

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2015—Another two feet of snow fall on Portsmouth. 2006—On Sunset Blvd., Joaquin Phoenix is rescued from his rolled, gas-reeking car by Werner Herzog. 2005—Gay hustler and accredited White House correspondent Jeff Gannon asks Pres. G.W.[MD] Bush how he can work with insane people like Harry Reid and Hillary Clinton. 2001—Britain’s Guardian reports [falsely] that Air Force One was “stripped bare” in “an orgy of pilfering” by outgoing Clinton staffers. 1998—The Project for a New American Century sends a letter, signed by E. Abrams, J. Bolton, W. Kristol, R. Perle, D. Rumsfeld, & P. Wolfowitz, to Bill Clinton, urging him to overthrow Saddam Hussein. He’s busy …

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2005—Conservative columnist Maggie Gallagher admits taking $21,500 from the government for plugging Bush Administration proposals. 2004—Senator John McCain confirms to Vermin Supreme that Karl Rove dynamited the Old Man of the Mountain “in a fit of anger” over McCain’s defeat of George W.[MD] Bush in the 2000 N.H. Primary. 2002—White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales advises the Bush Administration that it can ignore the Geneva Conventions. 2002—Veep Dick “Dick” Cheney asks Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle to limit investigations into the events of 9/11. 1996—Billy Bailey, the 19th of 23 children raised in a two-room shack, is hanged by the State of Delaware, the last American …

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2015—The winter’s first snow falls in Portsmouth. It will not be the last. 2001—GOP hack Rich Galen reports (falsely) that outgoing Gore staffers slashed all the power cords in the Office of the Vice President. 1999—Joe DiMaggio, watching “Dateline NBC,” is disturbed to read in the “crawl” that he has died. 1992—Gov. Bill Clinton flies to Arkansas so the execution of self-lobotomized cop-killer Ricky Ray Rector—who asks jailers to save the dessert from his last meal “for later”—will enhance his campaign for President. 1963—The tail falls off a B-52 flying over Maine at 500 feet—one-seventieth of its design altitude—and it crashes into Elephant Mountain. Two …

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