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2016—Disregarding advice from Justice Dept. lawyers, Director James Comey announces that the FBI has re-opened its investigation of the Democratic Presidential candidate 10 days before the election. 2015—A $2.7 billion Spy Blimp® drifts from Maryland into Pennsylvania, dragging a mile-long tether which knocks out power for 20,000. 2003—Iraq is “a little tougher that I thought it was going to be,” says Sen. Trent Lott [R-Miss.], but “if we have to, we just mow the whole place down [and] see what happens.” 1989—Congress passes a new, improved Flag Protection Act; 227 days later it’s struck down by the Court. 1980—With help from a stolen briefing book …

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2004—The Red Sox take their first Series since 1918 from the Cards. 1972—Richard Nixon pocket vetoes a bill to raise the veterans’ health care budget by $85 million. 1969—To convince the Soviets he’s dangerously unstable, Richard Nixon secretly orders eighteen B-52s armed with H-bombs to spend the next three days flying around the North Pole. 1967—Rev. Philip Berrigan and three friends pour duck blood on draft records in Baltimore, Md. 1965—“We must never forget,” says Richard Nixon, “that if the war in Vietnam is lost…the right of free speech will be extinguished throughout the world.” 1962—ICBMs go on alert in Montana as Cubans shoot down …

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2016—Bloomberg reports that Frederick Trump, Donald’s grandpa, once ran a brothel in British Columbia. 2010—Arizona kills Jeffrey Landrigan, using drugs imported illegally. 2003—Iraqi resistance fighters nearly get Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz with a rocket in Baghdad. 1972—Four years after helping to scuttle peace talks and get Richard Nixon elected, Henry Kissinger announces that “Peace is at hand.” 1971—Governor Reagan, calling the White House, refers to “those monkeys from those African countries…damn them, they’re still uncomfortable wearing shoes,” which President Nixon finds hilarious. 1966—Aboard the carrier U.S.S. Oriskany off Vietnam, a sailor throws an accidentally-ignited flare into a locker full of warheads. Explosions ensue, 44 …

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2001—Sen. Russ Feingold votes “nay” on the “PATRIOT” Act. 1983—U.S. troops protect us (and distract from the loss of 241 Marines in Beirut) by invading Grenada. 1978—In response to GOP malfeasance, FISA is enacted—thereby enabling future GOP malfeasance. 1973—Henry Kissinger, Alexander Haig, and other unelected officials raise America’s military readiness level to DEF CON 3 as Nixon sleeps. 1962—Nuclear-armed jets scramble from Duluth AFB because a guard, thinking it’s an infiltrator, has shot a bear climbing a fence. 1960—Martin Luther King, Jr. gets four months at hard labor in Decatur, Ga. on old traffic charges. 1944—A Japanese armada surprises “Taffy 3”—a far smaller U.S. Navy …

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2012—George W.[MD] Bush speaks at a Houston fundraiser for troops wounded following his orders. His fee: $100,000. 2008—America’s markets outperform the rest of the world, having lost only 3.5% of their value in one day. 2001—The U.S. House passes the PATRIOT Act without reading it. 1983—U.S. military aircraft, using old maps, bomb Richmond Hill Insane Asylum in Grenada, killing 16. 1962—Soviet ships reach the U.S. quarantine line off Cuba. They don’t cross it, so we don’t nuke the USSR. A Soviet satellite explodes the same day. NORAD suspects an ICBM attack; but, again, nobody pushes The Button. 1960—One wrongly-set switch at the Baikonur Cosmodrome prematurely …

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2015—James Comey says criticism of the police is responsible for the rise of violent crime in cities. He offers no evidence for this assertion. 2015—Senator Ted Cruz [R-Texas] warns “one more liberal justice and they begin sandblasting and bulldozing veterans memorials.” 2013—Chancellor Angela Merkel calls the White House to complain about the NSA tapping her phone. 2001—Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wisc.) introduces the senseless PATRIOT Act, & Justice official James Yoo writes a memo saying the President need not obey the law. 1998—Life being sacred, anti-abortion fanatic James C. Kopp murders Dr. Barnett Slepian in Amherst, N.Y. 1987—Robert Bork gets Borked. 1983—Suicide bombers kill 241 U.S. …

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