Mash Notes, Hate Mail & Other Correspondence

Dear Yo-Yo’s [sic]: I just thought I’d write you to check if you are aware that to reproduce a magazine cover w/o that magazine’s permission is illegal, and that if, on top of everything else, that cover is a BOGUS one you are REALLY in trouble? Sincerely, Mr. Bernardo Figuerado Gonic, N.H. Dear Mr. Bernardo: Once again we are overcome with gratitude: the Bard of Gonic deigns to enlighten us once again. It’s an honor and a thrill. Unfortunately our joy is tainted by the necessity of informing you that you are once—no, make that twice—again wrong. The First Amendment gives us the right to …

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Dear Editor: In the news, Trump wants to take Greenland for the U.S.A., “the easy way or the hard way.” He posits that, “If we don’t, China or Russia will.” They’re not NATO members, but we are. So we’d fight NATO to have his old-age craving for glory be satisfied? Question for DJT—Why wouldn’t China or Russia, IF they want it, then take Greenland from us? Not shy of the “hard way.” Now we’ve a nuclear-armed world, a modern-time seriousness. An NPR commentator puts Trump in the 19th Century, “Sounds a lot like James Polk wanting Texas and taking it from Mexico.” At the Concord …

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Dear Editor, So, who’s next, Cuba, Greenland, Colombia, Mexico? Given free reign (sic) by a court that every tyrant and thug on the planet would love to have in their corners, our dictator, in the one or two lucid moments he has each day, has apparently decided to take over the Western Hemisphere all by himself. He knows we don’t want a king to rule us. We’ve played that card twice already. What he must know is what we do want; we demand his insane criminal ass be removed from the White House. It is time for the New York Times to list the reasons …

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To the Editor: In looking at the results in Georgia and Miami, Florida, the Republican Party is in a complete meltdown. For the first time in 30 years, a Democrat will represent the City of Miami. In Georgia, a Democrat won a seat in the Georgia House of Representatives. It should be noted that the Republican Party gerrymandered the seat, for the record. The 2025 elections are a warning sign for the 26 elections. Even in the strongholds where the GOP does well, nowhere is safe. If the trend holds (which is a strong possibility), the GOP will be wiped off the map, the likes …

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Dear Editor: There has recently been a great deal of discussion both nationally and locally regarding the duty of military personnel in following illegal orders. Things got more interesting when it was reported that on September 2nd, a boat carrying suspected narco terrorists in the Caribbean was destroyed killing all but two occupants. Then a second strike was carried out to kill the two survivors. Many military legal experts say this second strike was clearly a violation and constituted possible war crimes and even murder. Since this event came to light there has been a great deal of blame shifting and confusion as to who …

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To the Editor: The World Jewish Congress has given its highest recognition, the Theodor Herzl Award, to Representative Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.), largely for her outspoken support for the state of Israel. Stefanik, honored at the most recent award ceremony, declared: “I am proud to be one of the foremost champions of the Jewish people in the United States Congress, ensuring Israel’s right to defend herself and fiercely opposing efforts by some of my colleagues to undermine it.” But using starvation as a weapon of war cannot be justified as self-defense. Notably, at a January 13, 2024 press conference, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu remarked, “We …

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