Volume 267 | No. 16

1993—The first website goes online. 1977—The Clamshell Alliance assembles at Seabrook to fight the nuke. 1975—Saigon falls. 1973—Rabid Nixon supporter Rev. Sun Myung Moon gets a green card. 1973—Announcing their resignations, Richard Nixon calls felons-to-be John D. Ehrlichman and H.R. Haldeman “two of the finest public servants I have ever known.” 1971—Medal of Honor recipient Dwight H. Johnson is shot to death while robbing a Detroit grocery store. 1966—Rep. Melvin Laird (R-Wisc.) says that the problem with Vietnam is “an administration that fails to inform the people fully and frankly about the objectives and progress of the war.” 1961—Leonid I. Rogozov, the sole doctor at …

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2014—Despite nine tries, Okla. prison officials miss Clayton Lockett’s veins; the poison goes into muscle. Without enough left to kill, they discuss options as he writhes. He ends their debate by dying of a heart attack. 2006—During the Correspondents Dinner, Stephen Colbert performs the first autopsy of a sitting President. 2004—The Commission “investigat­ing” 9/11 allows George W.[MD] Bush and Dick “Dick” Cheney to “testify” without taking an oath. 1992—A mostly-white jury in Simi Valley finds L.A. police not guilty of assaulting Rodney King. Soldiers and Marines end the rioting six days later. 1975—As helicopters begin evacuating Saigon, Marines Charles McMahon and Darwin Judge become the …

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2011—During a speech in Las Vegas, Donald Trump drops about seven f-bombs, promising to tell the Chinese, “listen you mother______s, we’re going to tax you 25 percent.” 2006—Rush Limbaugh’s lawyers announce that their fine work will keep their dope-addled client out of prison. 2004—The SEC says banks can risk more money and keep less on hand. 2004—Frank Lautenberg [D-N.J.] says on the floor of the Senate, “We know who the chickenhawks are. They talk tough on national defense and military issues…but when it was their turn to serve, they were AWOL.” 1988—Aloha Airlines 737 develops a 20 foot hole in its fuselage; stewardess Clarabelle Lansing …

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2017—“This is more work than my previous life,” whines Dolt #45. “I thought it would be easier.” 2016—Ex-Speaker John Boehner: “I never worked with a more miserable son-of-a-bitch in my life” than Ted Cruz—“Lucifer in the flesh.” 2011—On the worst day of the largest tornado outbreak in history, 324 people are killed from Texas to Ontario. 1994—In South Africa, ex-prisoner Nelson Mandela is elected President. 1978—A cooling tower being hastily built at Willow Island, W.Va. by N.J.-based Research-Cottrell collapses, killing 51 construction workers. The company is fined $1,700 per death. 1961—JFK tells newspaper publishers that if N.H.-born editor Horace Greeley had been less stingy, his …

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1986—Murphy’s Law at Chernobyl: Ukrainian real estate values plummet, northern Earth is irradiated, and thousands are condemned to death. 1970—When the Louisiana Senate Chamber is dynamited, a pencil sticks in the ornate ceiling. It’s still there. 1952—The captain of the U.S.S. Hobson, disregarding an underling’s advice, takes his destroyer across the bow of the U.S.S. Wasp. Cut in half, the Hobson sinks with more than half its crew, captain included. 1944—The U.S. takes over Montgomery-Ward after it defies the National Labor Relations Board. 1937—German and Italian planes destroy Guernica, Spain. 1931—Lou Gehrig hits a home run but is called out for passing another runner on …

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2005—Charles Duelfer, the CIA’s man in charge of finding WMDs in Iraq, says there are none. 2003—George W.[MD] Bush fires his Secretary of the Army for saying we don’t have enough troops in Iraq. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush and Saudi Prince Abdullah play kissy-face at the President’s Texas “ranch.” 1984—Asked if he’s ever been to a communist country, Reagan Chief of Staff James A. Baker III replies, “Well, I’ve been to Massachusetts.” 1962—The U.S. re-starts atmospheric nuclear testing with a bang—actually, 26 bangs over 77 days. 1959—Accused of raping a white woman, Mack Charles Parker is dragged from Mississippi’s Pearl River County Courthouse and lynched with …

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