Volume 269 | No. 15

2012—GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, in St. Louis to address the NRA, visits the zoo. It’s Friday the 13th; a penguin bites him. 2002—Venezuelans overrule the generals and their CIA advisors; Hugo Chavez is restored to the Presidency. 1989—A Senate investigation reveals that the State Dept. paid more than $806,000 to narcotic traffickers who were supplying Nicaraguan Contras, contravening the will of Congress. 1953—CIA boss Allen Dulles says it’s MKUltra time: start washing brains. 1919—British troops following orders from Col. R.E.H. Dyer massacre at least 379 unarmed Indian men women and children at Amritsar, India. 1917—Prescient President W. Wilson establishes the Committee on Public Information, …

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2007—#43’s minions say official emails about fired U.S. Attorneys, sent from RNC servers, are now “lost.” 2001—Veep Dick “Dick” Cheney files his 2000 return; 14% of his adjusted gross came from Halliburton. 1937—Sixty thousand U.S. students demonstrate against war. 1933—In Oakland, brothers George and William Besler test fly a Travel Air biplane powered by a Doble steam engine; nearly silent, it works fine. 1927—Shanghai’s Green Gang begins slaughtering as many as 10,000 Communists on orders from Chiang Kai-shek—famous hero of our GOP. 1888—When D.C. cops raid his soirée, William Dorsey Swann, born into slavery, becomes the first recorded female impersonator ever arrested. 1867—William Bullock, inventor …

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2018—Goldman Sachs warns clients of a downside to gene therapy: there is no cash flow from a cured patient. 2017—The State Street Saloon burns. 2005—Huge mobs of Iraqis mark the 2nd anniversary of Saddam Hussein’s fall, shouting “No, No to Satan!” and demanding that U.S. troops leave. 1972—Crooked financier Robert Vesco slips $200,000 to Nixon’s re-election campaign; Attorney General John Mitchell then cuts him slack. 1970—Dick “Dick” Nixon’s lawyers backdate a deed giving his papers to the National Archives so he can illegally claim a tax deduction. 1963—Lee Harvey Oswald takes a shot at U.S. Army General Edwin Walker because he’s leader of a “fascist …

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2018—Other networks report that the FBI raided the office of President Trump’s lawyer; Fox reports that pandas—a non-native species, let’s recall—are aggressive and sex-crazed. 2006—“Scooter” Libby says “W” OK’d leaks of secret CIA intel. 1967—“We appeal to North Vietnam,” says a veteran-bought ad in the N.Y. Times, “if they really want peace, to stop bombing the United States—or else get the hell out of Vietnam!” 1961—The two top planners of the Bay of Pigs invasion, now eight days off, tell their boss Dick Bissell that it is bound to fail. He says do it anyway. 1948—Violating a recently-signed peace pact, Zionists attack Deir Yassin and …

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2018—Fox “News” accidentally broadcasts a graphic showing results of a poll: Fox is the least-trusted network. 1984—R. Nixon gripes, “It’s the media’s responsibility to examine the President with a microscope…but when they use a proctoscope, it’s going too far.” 1974—Hank Aaron breaks Ruth’s homer record; death threats ensue. 1956—USMC recruits are marched into a Parris Island swamp for disciplinary purposes. Six of them drown. 1952—With the steel industry adamantly opposing wage increases, Truman orders its nationalization. 1947—Frederick von Hayek, Ludwig von Mises, Milton Friedman, et al. issue a manifesto at Mont Pelerin obfuscating their goal: neo-feudalism. 1945—Allied planes hit a German ammo train next to …

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