Volume 270 | No. 15

2008—“Thank you, your holiness,” George W.[MD] Bush says to Pope Benedict, “Awesome speech.” 1992—Afghanistan’s commie President Najibullah resigns, making way for a more enlightened government. 1992—The House Ethics Committee—no laughing, please—releases the names of 303 check-kiting Reps. 1969—Reverend Billy Graham advises Nixon: bomb North Vietnam’s dikes; estimated casualties: 1 million. 1963—Martin Luther King, Jr., writes “Letter From Birmingham Jail,” defending civil disobedience. 1954—“There is no reason why French forces should not remain in Indo-China and win,” says Richard Nixon, three weeks before the Viet Minh overrun Dien Bien Phu. 1953—Ike says militarism hangs humanity “from a cross of iron.” 1951—Hiroshima survivor Shigeki Tanaka wins the …

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2024—D.J. Trump becomes the first U.S. president charged with 34 felonies to fall asleep during his own trial. 2015—Doug Hughes, a USPS mailman, lands a gyrocopter on the Capitol lawn to deliver 535 letters to Congress: “Overturn Citizens United.” 2015—Texan and safari guide Ian Gibson is crushed to death in Zimbabwe by the elephant he was stalking. 1994—Dick “Dick” Cheney ’splains on C-SPAN why G.H.[H.]W. Bush didn’t topple Saddam: that would have created a “quagmire” in Iraq. 1974—Press lord William Randolph Hearst’s gun-totin’ granddaughter Patty helps the Symbionese Liberation Army rob a San Francisco bank. 1970—Rep. Gerald Ford: “Impeach Justice William O. Douglas.” 1961—The CIA …

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2006—Six  retired generals sign an Op-Ed calling on Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to resign. 2004—Attorney General John Ashcroft blames Bill Clinton for terrorist attacks that took place seven months after Clinton left office. 1999—Dan Quayle throws his cute little propeller beanie into the ring. 1994—Over Iraq, U.S. fighter jets shoot down two U.S. helicopters. 1988—An Iranian mine nearly sinks the missile frigate USS Roberts. 1975—Idaho’s Bunker Hill Mining Co. says all female workers at its smelter must get sterilized to keep their jobs. 1945—A new high-tech head floods U-1206 on its 1st patrol. Commander K.A. Schlitt scuttles the boat; four crewmen die, the rest …

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2002—Venezuelans overrule the generals and their CIA advisors; Hugo Chavez is restored to the Presidency. 1989—A Senate investigation reveals that the State Dept. paid more than $806,000 to narcotic traffickers who were supplying Nicaraguan Contras, contravening the will of Congress. 1963—At an anti-nuke Easter Parade, a “Spies for Peace” pamphlet exposes a government plan: if there’s a nuke strike, elites would govern the UK from a series of bunkers. 1953—CIA boss Allen Dulles says it’s MKUltra time: start washing brains. 1919—British troops massacre at least 379 unarmed Indian men women and children at Amritsar, India. 1917—Prescient President W. Wilson establishes the Committee on Public Information, …

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2007—#43’s minions say official emails about fired U.S. Attorneys, sent from RNC servers, are now “lost.” 2001—Veep Dick “Dick” Cheney files his 2000 return; 14% of his adjusted gross came from Halliburton. 1937—Sixty thousand U.S. students demonstrate against war. 1933—In Oakland, brothers George and William Besler test fly a Travel Air biplane powered by a Doble steam engine; nearly silent, it works fine. 1927—Shanghai’s Green Gang begins slaughtering as many as 10,000 Communists on orders from Chiang Kai-shek—famous hero of our GOP. 1888—When D.C. cops raid his soirée, William Dorsey Swann, born into slavery, becomes the first recorded female impersonator ever arrested. 1867—William Bullock, inventor …

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