admin

Jack Gets His Day in Kangaroo Court

by

This has been, we regret to report, the most maddening decade in American history. Trust us, we have seen it all. Typically our hard times have given us something: independence, the end of chattel slavery, an improved standard of living, and so forth. All we have gotten over the past ten years, though, has been the constant degradation of… just about everything. The only exceptions seem to have been the laws of physics, but you can bet your bippy that otherwise unemployable asshats at some lavishly-funded think tank are conjuring up a scheme for doubling the speed of light and cutting gravity in half. This …

Read more

Volume 271, No. 2

by

Every other Friday we realize with a shock that we are still un-incarcerated, after all these issues… Thanks in large part to our small team of volunteers, thousands of copies of our conveniently-sized paper—small enough to pocket and pass on to another reader—are now available, for free, here in Portsmouth and environs. If you click here, the whole thing, in digital form, will appear more or less miraculously on the glassy screen of your gadget of choice.

Fri, Oct 2

by

2003—Survey chief David Kay reports that his three-month, $300 million search for Saddam Hussein’s WMD has turned up squat. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush calls Iraq “a threat of unique urgency,” because of its arsenal of scary WMDs. 1990—Three Texans in a Cessna come within 30 feet of clearing Mt. Washington. Their bodies are brought down on the Cog Railway. 1980—Senior members of the Reagan campaign team meet in D.C. with a representative of the Ayatollah, who offers to release U.S. hostages. 1980—Michael Myers (D-Pa.) becomes the first Rep. expelled in 120 years, for bribe-taking and conspiracy. Why only him? Who knows. 1975—Congress shuts down a $6 …

Read more

Thurs, Oct 1

by

2013—In the name of fiscal discipline, Republicans shut down the government. Cost to the economy: $24 billion. 2003—With the blessings of Gov. Benson [R-$], Free Staters choose New Hampshire as their libertarian paradise. 2002—Northern Command is established to “Defend America’s Homeland”—posse comitatus be damned. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush claims he hasn’t “made up his mind we’re going to war with Iraq.” Right. Got it. 1999—Dow 36,000 is published. In real life the Dow peaks months later at 11,722, then loses 37% of its value. 1993—Caving under pressure, the IRS grants tax-free status to the “Church” of Scientology. 1964—Campus cops at U.C. Berkeley arrest Jack Weinberg; big …

Read more

Wed, Sept 30

by

2025—Former Fox “News” guy Pete Hegseth assembles the DOD’s top brass and orders them to “Stop being fat.” 2016—N.H.’s Attorney General reports that ex-Rep. Kyle Tasker [R-Nottingham] sold pot to five other State Reps. – for medicinal purposes. 2011—U.S. citizen Anwar al-Awlaki is smote by a drone in Yemen. Trial? We don’t need no stinkin’ trial! 2005—N.Y. Times’s Judith Miller tells a Grand Jury that Dick “Dick” Cheney outed Valerie Plame to her. 1998—The GAO reports that Ken “Ahab” Starr blew $40 million failing to harpoon Bill “Moby Dick” Clinton. 1962—César Chávez founds what becomes the United Farm Workers. 1956—Drunk-flying a stolen Cessna, Thomas Fitzpatrick …

Read more

Tues, Sept 29

by

2008—The Dow drops 777 points. 2006—Anti child-porn crusader Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) resigns after his lurid e-mails to young males leak. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush claims Iraq has WMDs and al-Qaeda terrorists, and will soon have a nuke. 1976—Congress arrogates to itself, in the Hyde Amendment, the power to make medical decisions for women. 1972—A short, bearded man in sneakers spontaneously grabs ex-Secretary of Defense Robert Strange McNamara and tries to throw him off the ferry into Vineyard Sound. 1969—The U.S. Army drops murder charges against Special Forces Col. Robert Rheault—the CIA won’t let its agents testify. “Terminate with extreme prejudice” enters the lexicon. 1957—A Soviet …

Read more