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2002—The ten largest U.S. brokerage houses cough up $1.44 billion in fines rather than risk a trial over charges that they fleeced their customers. 2002—Sen. Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.) is forced to step down after lamenting Strom Thurmond’s failure to win the Presidency on a White Supremacy platform in 1948. 1989—Ex-CIA boss George H. [Hoover] W. Bush invades Panama to arrest ex-CIA asset Manuel Noriega. 1986—Chased by a mob of young white men, Trinidadian Michael Griffith is run over and killed in Howard Beach, Queens, New York. 1983—Donald Rumsfeld visits Baghdad to shake mass murderer Saddam Hussein’s hand and convey Ronald Reagan’s best wishes. …

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2007—A fire breaks out near “Dick” Cheney’s office. Probable cause: spontaneous inhuman combustion. 1998—As Bill Clinton is being impeached for some hanky-panky, Speaker-elect Bob Livingston resigns to cover up a bit of his own. 1984—Due to a work speedup, 27 coal miners are killed in Utah. 1974—Norris Cotton finagles a bill giving New Hampshire’s senior Senator the right in perpetuity to commandeer Daniel Webster’s old desk. 1973—Johnny Carson makes a joke about a non-existent toilet paper shortage, inadvertantly causing one. 1946—The Viet Minh take on the French in Indo-China. 1944—Primarily due to bad generalship, two-thirds of the 106th Infantry, comprising 8,000 men, must surrender during …

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2019—Donald Trump is impeached. 2005—“Not only can we win the war in Iraq,” says George W.[MD] Bush 962 days after Mission Accomplished, “we’re winning the war in Iraq.” 2004—“America’s Most Wanted’s” John Walsh says he most wants Jahbir and Alfonso Fowle caught. 2000—“If this were a dictatorship,” says George W.[MD] Bush on CNN, “it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.” 1996—Kenyan students protest the killing of a student the previous day. Police kill two more students. 1996—G-Man Earl Pitts is arrested for moonlighting for the KGB. 1972—Richard Nixon begins Operation Linebacker: 12 days of B-52 strikes against …

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2010—Street vendor Mohamed Bouazizi sets himself afire, thereby igniting the Tunisian Revolution and the subsequent Arab Spring. 2006—Bill Kristol predicts on “Fox News Sunday,” “Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single Democratic primary.” 1998—Impeachment pending, Bill Clinton wags the dog: half the Pentagon’s cruise missiles explode in Iraq. 1967—“I know this beach like the back of my hand,” says Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt, before disappearing in heavy surf. 1960—A U.S.A.F. C-131 hits a Munich steeple, then falls onto a trolley. All 20 on the plane die, along with 18 in the trolley and 11 on the street. 1951—Black Americans …

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2005—The New York Times reports that the NSA has been tapping U.S. telephones without a warrant. 2001—U.S. troops at Tora Bora ask for  help catching Osama bin Laden. Donald Rumsfeld denies their request; bin Laden walks away. 1988—Bush #41 nominates notoriously boozy womanizer Sen. John Tower [R-Texas] to run the Department of  Defense. His confirmation hearings do not go well. 1988—Perennial Presidential candidate Lyndon LaRouche—Rochester, N.H.’s most famous native—is convicted of tax and mail fraud. 1973—Protestors celebrate the 200th Anniversary of the Boston Tea Party by hanging Richard Nixon in effigy. 1970—Big Milk offers Nixon a $2 million “campaign contribution” if he’ll cut milk imports. …

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