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2014—Despite nine tries, Okla. prison officials miss Clayton Lockett’s veins; the poison goes into muscle. Without enough left to kill, they discuss options as he writhes. He ends their debate by dying of a heart attack. 2004—The Commission “investigat­ing” 9/11 allows George W.[MD] Bush and Dick “Dick” Cheney to “testify” without taking an oath. 1992—A mostly-white jury in Simi Valley finds L.A. police not guilty of assaulting Rodney King. Soldiers and Marines end the rioting six days later. 1975—Twenty-five helicopters worth $10 million are shoved off USS Midway so SVAF Maj. Buang-Ly can land a Cessna he stole to save his family. On land, Marines …

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2011—During a speech in Las Vegas, Donald Trump drops about seven f-bombs, promising to tell the Chinese, “listen you mother______s, we’re going to tax you 25 percent.” 2006—Rush Limbaugh’s lawyers announce that their fine work will keep their dope-addled client out of prison. 2004—The SEC says banks can risk more money and keep less on hand. 2004—Frank Lautenberg [D-N.J.] says on the floor of the Senate, “We know who the chickenhawks are. They talk tough on national defense and military issues…but when it was their turn to serve, they were AWOL.” 1988—Aloha Airlines 737 develops a 20 foot hole in its fuselage; stewardess Clarabelle Lansing …

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2017—“This is more work than my previous life,” whines Dolt #45. “I thought it would be easier.” 2016—Ex-Speaker John Boehner: “I never worked with a more miserable son-of-a-bitch in my life” than Ted Cruz—“Lucifer in the flesh.” 2011—On the worst day of the largest tornado outbreak in history, 324 people are killed from Texas to Ontario. 2009—Sen. Dick Durbin calls banks “the most powerful lobby on Capitol Hill… they frankly own the place.” 1994—In South Africa, ex-prisoner Nelson Mandela is elected President. 1981—Nine men board a boat in New Orleans with guns and a Nazi flag. Headed to 99% black Dominica to create a white …

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1986—Murphy’s Law at Chernobyl: Ukrainian real estate values plummet, northern Earth is irradiated, and thousands are condemned to death. 1978—SCOTUS, in Bank of Boston v Belotti: the First Amendment permits corporations to try to buy elections. 1960—Korean protestors succeed in forcing corrupt U.S.-backed dictator Syngman Rhee to step down. 1952—The captain of the USS Hobson, disregarding an underling’s advice, takes his destroyer across the bow of the USS Wasp. Cut in half, the Hobson sinks with more than half its crew, captain included. 1944—The U.S. takes over Montgomery-Ward after it defies the National Labor Relations Board. 1937—German and Italian planes destroy Guernica, Spain. 1922—On the …

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2005—Charles Duelfer, the CIA’s man in charge of finding WMDs in Iraq, says there are none. 2003—George W.[MD] Bush fires his Secretary of the Army for saying we don’t have enough troops in Iraq. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush and Saudi Prince Abdullah play kissy-face at the President’s Texas “ranch.” 1984—Asked if he’s ever been to a communist country, Reagan Chief of Staff James A. Baker III replies, “Well, I’ve been to Massachusetts.” 1962—The U.S. re-starts atmospheric nuclear testing with a bang—actually, 26 bangs over 77 days. 1959—Accused of raping a white woman, Mack Charles Parker is dragged from Mississippi’s Pearl River County Courthouse and lynched with …

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2020—The lead item on all news broadcasts: the manufacturer has announced that, contrary to what the President has said, people should not inject themselves with Lysol. 2018—OMB’s Mick Mulvaney tells bankers, only if “you’re a lobbyist who gave us money, [then] I might talk to you” while he was in Congress. 1980—Eight Americans die and five are wounded trying to get American hostages out of Teheran. 1967—“The military situation [in South Vietnam] is favorable,” says Gen. Wm. C. Westmoreland, but protests at home might lose the war. 1967—Soyuz 1’s chutes fail; misfiring retro-rockets incinerate the remains of Cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov. 1953—A B-29 with an F-84 …

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