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2023—The presses of the Portsmouth Herald go silent after running their final locally-printed edition. 2011—The U.S. and France attack Libya—for its own good, of course. 2003—George W.[MD] Bush starts his pre-emptive war; 40 Tomahawk missiles hit residential Baghdad. 1987—Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese endorses drug testing for schoolteachers. 1983—On “Diff’rent Strokes,” Nancy Reagan tells “a true story” about “Charlie.” “Burned out on marijuana” at 14, he “brutally beats” Sis when she won’t steal to buy him weed. 1954—The U.S. government burns books by Wilhelm Reich. 1948—Nobel Prize winner Mme. Irene Joliot-Curie is released from detention on Ellis Island; her work against fascism made her …

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2006—Barnstead, N.H. bans corporations from exporting groundwater and denies them personhood. 2004—At Gilley’s, Portsmouth narcs and off-duty cops hold round two of a fight begun at Paddy’s on St. Pat’s Day. 2003—“Why should we hear about body bags and death and how many?” asks First Mom Barbara Bush. “It’s not relevant…why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?” 1997—A road rage shootout between undercover L.A.P.D. cops leaves one of them dead in an SUV owned by Death Row Records’ “Suge” Knight’s wife. Exposure of massive corruption at the Rampart Division ensues. 1990—Fake cops bluff guards and steal Rembrandts and a Vermeer from …

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2017—Arguing Apocalypse Now in the Oval with ’Nam vets, Dolt #45 confuses Agent Orange with napalm. 2008—His high-priced hooker habit exposed, N.Y. Gov. E. Spitzer resigns. 2007—Navy Times: before he was a U.S.M.C. Cpl. and Fox News reporter, Matt Sanchez was a gay porn star. 2004—To honor St. Patrick, narcs and off-duty cops duke it out in Paddy’s parking lot at the Tradeport. 2003—George W.[MD] Bush tells Saddam Hussein that Iraq isn’t big enough for the both of them, giving the varmint 48 hours to vamoose. 1976—Candidate Jimmy Carter marches in New York’s St. Patrick’s Day parade, wearing a button saying “England Get Out Of …

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2025—DOGE conducts a hostile takeover of the U.S. Institute of Peace. 2008—The New York Federal Reserve fronts JPMorgan $30 billion to buy Bear Stearns’ bankrupt corpse. 2003—On “Meet the Press,” Dick “Dick” Cheney claims that Saddam Hussein “has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons,” and that“we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.” 1995—Mississippi, after 130 years, ratifies the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery; its actual certification takes another 18 years. 1990—GOP race whisperer Lee Atwater “repents” on his deathbed; no lie detectors are present, however. 1988—Kurds in Iraq are gassed with ingredients Saddam Hussein bought from the U.S. and Europe. 1970—Sen. Roman Hruska (R-Neb.) defends G. …

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1999—The “Hockey Stick” graph shows that global warming’s real; corporate demand for expert liars soars. 1989—To flatter veterans without incurring any actual additional expenses, the Veterans Administration is elevated to Departmental status. 1982—Donald Trump gets a New Jersey casino licence—normally a months-long process—in hours. 1980—A Boston Globe editorial about a speech by Jimmy Carter is headlined, “Mush from the Wimp.” 1969—The National Security Council OKs the Nixon/Kissinger plan to illegally bomb Cambodia. 1962—Flying Tiger Flight 739 from Travis AFB to Saigon disappears with 107 soldiers and crew on board. 1948—“Without superior air power America is…easy prey to any yellow dwarf with a pocket knife,” says …

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