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Tuesday, September 30, 2008—Non-binding elections have long been known as “beauty contests.” Now we’re heading into an alleged election that could put this real, live beauty contest winner, Sarah (Heath) Palin, a heartbeat—an old man’s heartbeat—away from the Presidency. Either democracy is a lousy idea, or something’s screwy. Forty years ago the alleged editor of this venerable rag began pondering this question: if the American form of government is the best in the world, what are we doing here in Vietnam, killing and being killed to no apparent purpose? Eventually—about twenty years later—he stumbled across a fairly obvious answer. The government screwed up, of course. …

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Monday, September 29, 2008—We’re going to break with our recent tradition here—posting every two weeks whether there’s any news or not—and start posting daily. Since we already have far too many little tasks to do just putting a newspaper together every fourteen days, we’ll probably go the Open Thread route most days, and encourage visitors to sound off about whatever’s on their minds. To the extent that the Alleged Editor chimes in, readers may expect a monotonous series of arguments in favor of free, small newspapers like this one, and like Seattle’s terrific Eat the State. Today, though, in recognition of those governing geniuses who …

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Friday, September 19, 2008 – … so we did: put another 5,00 or so copies of a free eight-page tabloid newspaper on the streets, and in the mail. Not the biggest deal in the world, we’ll grant, but for fans of This Olde Rag, it’s something. Meanwhile, for those outside our distribution area, here’s a free PDF to download, electronically simulating our September 5 paper, (Volume 252, No. 25, for the archivists out there; 2.8 MB). This issue includes our initial response to Senator McCain’s astonishing choice of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential running mate. Being almost completely unimpeded by fears of …

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Friday, September 5, 2008 – Pardon us for bragging, but given our recent history, it seems justified. Besides, after listening to various shards of the Republican Convention over the past few days, we’re infused with self-regard. Anyway, here’s our August 22 paper, (Volume 252, No. 24, for you archivists; 3.4 MB). In this issue, we take a few swings at Rick “Dr. Evil” Berman. And why not? He had the nerve to come to our Congressional District and empty out his sewage truck into our information stream. Also, our Starving Artiste Mike Dater interprets a comment by Michael Mukasey. And we scratch our editorial chin …

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Friday, August 22, 2008 – Yes, amazingly enough, we’re actually back on schedule. Here’s our August 8 paper, (Volume 252, No. 23, for you archivists; 3.1 MB). This sassy little unit takes a look at the eventual legacy of a guy who’s been picking up his mail at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the last seven years and seven months. Toward that end, we considered the careers of King Midas, Mario Mendoza, and Yerzhan Dosmukhamedov, peered into the Gazette’s crystal ball, and asked the question, “What the heck is Southern Methodist University doing?” We also did what we could to make up for the more profitable …

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008 – Our posting of this tardy scamp has been held up for the past five days so that our riggers could lower a new mainframe down into the bunker. Naturally, we had to install new generators to meet the new, higher amperage requirements. But at last, we’re ready to proceed. Hell, we’re ready to take over the county — perhaps the country. Or so we’d like to think. Anyway, sorry for the delay. Published in accordance with our fortnightly schedule on July 25, this affront to decency (Volume 252, No. 22, for all you archivists out there) recalled the optimistic gala …

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