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Monday, December 8, 2008—The subject of our Fortnightly Rant in our Vol. 253, No. 4 was “A Tale of Three Bridges.” In it, we attempted to put into perspective the amount of money thrown at two bridges in Alaska, and the relatively paltry sum which would be required to rehabilitate a uniquely important bridge right here in our home town. Our “News Briefs,” began with a look at the efforts of Willacy County, Texas District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra to indict Vice President Dick “Dick” Cheney, former Attorney General Alberto “Fredo” Gonzales, and five Texas officials for “abuse of office, profiting from office, and murder.” …

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Saturday, November 29, 2008—Yes, we’ve got good news: We’re still here. These days, you can’t take that for granted. Not only are we still here, we now have some advertising space available. Anyone interested in reaching our readers is invited to download a pdf of our Ratecard. Our contact information is on the Ratecard. At a rate of about 2,000 readers per dollar spent (assuming you qualify for our local discount), we doubt you can find a better value for reaching readers in our area. It’s too late to get into our next paper, to be published December 5. But if you act now, we …

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Friday, November 21, 2008—We began this day with fresh stacks of our latest outrage, ready to distribute. Newspapers do not, of course, come “hot” off the press. Slightly warm, perhaps, but not hot. They do have a faint but distinctive scent, though. And we love it. Over the course of the next fortnight, upwards of ten thousand people will read something that hasn’t been screened through a corporate sieve. And that is how we justify to ourselves our continued consumption of oxygen. In keeping with our no-doubt-annoying practice, to celebrate today’s new paper we make available a pdf file of our previous issue (3.0 MB). …

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Portsmouth, November 21, 2008—Until three years ago it looked fairly certain that the U.S. Congress was going to allocate almost $452 million to build two bridges in Alaska. The Gravina Island bridge would be longer than the Golden Gate, taller than the Brooklyn Bridge, and connect the town of Ketchikan (pop. 7,368) and Gravina Island (pop. 50). The Knik Arm Bridge, two miles long, would shorten the commute between Wasilla and Anchorage by one hour. Logic would seem to argue that such a large expenditure for projects which would benefit so few would be hard to justify. But logic had the unenviable task of arguing …

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008—The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ extends its bemused congratulations and hearty best wishes to the audacious scamps who have temporarily and harmlessly appropriated the New York Times brand, and used it as a platform on which to indulge in some creative, useful, and reality-based re-interpretation of reality. Talk about poetic justice. With its hidebound and blindered interpretation of reality, the hereditary stewards of the alleged “newspaper of record” have been the prime enablers over the past eight years of the Bush maladministration’s vicious and perverse reign. They may or may not face legal prosecution for violation of trademark rights. This is clearly a …

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Sunday, November 9, 2008—We’re a couple of days late posting this pdf file (3.7 MB) of our Volume 253, No. 2, published on paper here in the 28th most historic place on Earth on October 17. Blame our uppityness—or our sloth—for the delay. You can’t go wrong. This was our final paper before the election. Ordinarily, we would have published a paper on October 31, and then again on November 14. That schedule would have put us on a collision course with Thanksgiving and Christmas, though. We avoided that by putting off our schedule by one week. In this issue, we tried to wrap our …

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