The Alleged Editor

2004—“I trust God speaks through me,” George W.[MD] Bush tells a group of Amish people. “Without that, I couldn’t do my job.” 1993—To prove it’s unbreakable, Toronto lawyer Garry Hoy hurls himself against a 24th floor window. It pops from its frame; he falls to his death. 1986—Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese publishes a 1,960-page report on pornography packed with obscene titles. 1985—Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese launches the “original intent” crusade. 1958—Lebanon is invaded by 14,000 U.S. troops with nuclear-capability. 1958—A 1,700-foot mega-tsunami hits Lituya Bay, Alaska. 1951—Dashiell Hammett, 57, tubercular author of The Maltese Falcon, is sentenced to six months in …

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2016—Dallas Police use a bomb-armed robot to kill a man suspected of having murdered five officers. 1976—The State of New York yanks Richard Nixon’s law license. 1969—The U.S. begins withdrawing troops from Vietnam. 1962—The U.S. detonates a nuke 250 miles up, knocking out phones in Hawaii, 900 miles to the east, and crippling seven satellites. 1959—Viet Cong forces attack Bien Hoa air base, killing two U.S. advisors as they watch a movie. 1947—Radio reports say a UFO has crashed at Roswell, N.M. 1945—At a POW camp in Salina, Utah, Army Pvt. Clarence V. Bertucci machine guns 29 Germans; nine die. 1898—Jefferson Randolph “Soapy” Smith II, …

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1986—Reagan’s A.G., Ed Meese, attains quasi-legislative status for Presidential Signing Statements, which previously had had little impact, by persuading West Publishing to include them in law books. 1972—Near Danang, Battery B of the 82nd Field Arty. takes out four men from the 196th Inf. Bde. in the last major friendly fire incident of the war. 1967—His Tet Offensive plan OK’d by the Politburo, Gen. Nguyen Chi Thanh parties himself to death. 1954—As puppet Premier Diem arrives in Saigon, U.S. Gen. John W. O’Daniel, says “the war in Vietnam can be won without bringing in one single American soldier to fight.” 1950—FBI Chief J. Edgar Hoover …

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2013—A runaway fuel train derails and burns, destroying half of downtown Lac Megantic, Quebec. 2001—Ex-FBI Special Agent, devout Catholic, patron of strippers, and exhibitionist Robert Hanssen pleads guilty to selling U.S. secrets to the U.S.S.R., then to the Russians. 1971—President Nixon sets up a “Plumbers Unit” to stop leaks. 1962—To test its dirt-moving capacity, the AEC sets off a buried nuke in Nevada. It creates Sedan Crater—the nation’s biggest—and irradiates more Americans than any other test. 1924—Democrats “deplore and condemn…religious or racial dissension” during the longest convention ever held, but balk at naming the Klan. 1916—Major Douglas MacArthur, newly-appointed censor at the War Department, says …

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2009—Terry Herbert finds a spectacular hoard of Anglo-Saxon gold ornaments on Fred Johnson’s farm in the West Midlands. It made the men rich—and bitter enemies. 1968—The US. Congress effectively tramples on the First Amendment to ineffectively “protect” the flag. 1968—The Marine base at Khe Sanh is abandoned 90 days after the lifting of a 78-day siege which cost 737 lives. 1950—Shipped out hastily without a plan, ill-equipped and outnumbered ten to one, Task Force Smith is decimated by North Koreans at Osan. The troops are blamed, not their commander, Gen. MacArthur. 1937—Leaving Berlin, IBM President Tom Watson thanks Adolf Hitler for a big order and …

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1994—Nye County, Nev., Commissioner Dick Carver re-opens a Federally-closed road with a bulldozer, reigniting the Sagebrush Rebellion. 1975—Just 11 years after Goldwater got the GOP nod there, the Ant Farm stages “Media Burn.” A customized Cadillac crashes into a wall of burning TVs at San Francisco’s Cow Palace. 1970—Billie Graham and Bob Hope preach and joke at “Honor America” day in D.C. Also: protestors smoke pot atop a truck shoved into the Reflecting Pool, and neo-Nazis snarl and jeer. 1951—In Madison, Wisc., 99.2 percent decline to sign a petition containing excerpts from the Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights. 1947—The Boozefighters, a subset of …

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