The Radical Wrecking Crew

Focus groups have determined that when given a choice, people prefer hearing about lost puppies being found to staring into an existential abyss. Oh, well…here we go again, anyway. Pardon us while we state the obvious. While we’re at it, let’s print something that’s not even news: ordinary Americans haven’t been screwed this hard since Herbert Hoover was President. A couple of recent tweets can sum it up as well as anything we could write: Kimberly Nicole Foster [@KimberlyNFoster]: “it’s wild that ‘unskilled’ labor is the labor that society literally collapses without.” Andrew Lawrence [@ndrew_lawrence]: “What if the reason kids are depressed is [because] they …

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Sleepwalking Into Fascism

Another fortnight, another resounding “Thunk,” as Uncle Sam’s top-hatted noggin slams into yet another landing during his violent and interminable descent down the endless staircase leading to democracy’s crypt. Did he fall? Or was he pushed? Oh, please. We are the nation’s last living exemplar of a truly free press. Do not expect us to mimic our corporate competition by pretending to be even stupider than we actually are. Following the incoherent barking of their malevolent leader, the members of Cult #45 have volunteered enough of their warm if not necessarily sapient bodies to give the Covid-19 virus the opportunity to develop a new mutation …

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The Cure For What Ails Us?

Readers, are you tired of the bitter bickering, constant conflict, and demeaning dialogue that pass for public discourse these days? Of course you are. Who wouldn’t be? The only thing on which Americans can agree is that other Americans are far too disagreeable.* Well, good news, everyone, we’ve got the perfect solution! Here’s how it works. Let’s say the neighborhood arsonist strolls up your driveway with a gas can in his hand. He’s eying your garage in a manner that seems suspicious. Ordinarily, you might be tempted to come down off your porch with a pipe wrench in your hand, telling him in no uncertain …

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With Democrats Like These,
 Who Needs Republicans?

One could imagine that a newspaper embarking on its 266th year might allow itself to ease up a bit. After weighing our options, though, we said to hell with that. How could we back off now? Have you seen what these people are up to? If we’re going to make a change, we need to do more. If things keep going the way they’re headed, we’ll be lucky if we see 275. We’re not worried about running out of words, but oxygen and water are another matter. Judging solely from news that is commonly available, it’s pretty plain that the current plan—such as it is, …

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 Who Needs Republicans?

The Doom Comet of 2024

The former guy is saying that he might run for President again. There it is: one simple declarative statement that all by itself could cause another pandemic. It wouldn’t be the viral sort; we’re talking depression this time, and probably with two variants: personal and financial. During the prior maladministration, the nation spent four years—years we could ill afford to lose—sliding backwards rapidly on a host of issues like the climate, racism, economic inequity, voter suppression…we’ll stop there lest we start making tasteless jokes about self-destruction. Losing four more years would be unthinkable. Our first instinct is not to believe him. After all, paraphrasing Mary …

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DeJoy: “Run the Postal Service? I Thought You Said ‘Ruin the Postal Service.’”

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you are facing more catastrophes than you can count. Where do you even begin? This disagreeable sensation, once confined to an unlucky few, is now widespread among those who read the news. Our policy for staving off catatonia: expect the worst, hope for the best, and deal with one thing at a time. At the moment, because it’s dear to our ink-stained heart, let’s consider the U.S. Postal Service [U.S.P.S.]. Because it certainly qualifies as a catastrophe. Incredibly, there’s good news on this front. The District Court in Washington, D.C. ruled August 17th that the U.S.P.S. must turn over …

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