Sat, April 24

2020—The lead item on all news broadcasts: the manufacturer has announced that, contrary to what the President has said, people should not inject themselves with Lysol. 1980—Eight Americans die and five are wounded trying to get American hostages out of Teheran. 1967—“The military situation [in South Vietnam] is favorable,” says Gen. Wm. C. Westmoreland, but protests at home might lose the war. 1967—Soyuz 1’s chutes fail; misfiring retro-rockets incinerate the remains of Cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov. 1959—Michigan native Capt. John S. Lappo, piloting a six-engine RB-47, flies under the Mackinac Bridge at 425 mph; clearance: 155 feet. 1953—A B-29 with an F-84 bolted to each wingtip …

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Fri, April 23

2018—U.S. President #45 says, “If [George Washington] was smart, he would’ve put his name on [Mount Vernon]. You’ve got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you.” 2017—Proud papa Dennis Dickey, a U.S. Border Patrol agent in Arizona, reveals the gender of his pending progeny by firing a gun at an explosive target surrounded by dry grass. The resultant fire burns 70 square miles. 1993—RIP Cesar Chavez. 1971—National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger, speaking over the phone with Allen Ginsberg, agrees to meet personally but draws the line at doing so naked on live TV. 1971—Concluding Operation Dewey Canyon III, “a limited incursion …

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Thurs, April 22

2004—U.S. Army Spec. and ex-NFL star Pat Tillman is shot by his own side in Afghanistan; a cover-up ensues. 2002—Dick “Dick” Cheney, fundraising in Florida, says “The Taliban is out of business permanently.” 1987—Just because the death penalty is applied in a racially biased manner, the Supreme Court rules in McCleskey vs. Kemp, that’s no reason for states to stop killing Black convicts. 1983—The first two jolts from Alabama’s electric chair set John Louis Evans on fire. It takes a third to stop his heart from beating, though. 1971—Capitol police arrest 110 Vietnam veterans for serenading the Supreme Court with God Bless America. 1963—South Vietnam …

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Wed, April 21

1999—NRA president Charlton Heston says that to honor those massacred at Columbine the day before, the gun lobby’s Denver convention will be shortened by one whole day. 1992—Robert Alton Harris is strapped into San Quentin’s gas chamber at 3:00 a.m. Twelve minutes later he’s taken back out amid legal wrangling. At 6:00 a.m., he’s put back in and successfully gassed to death. 1980—Newsweek quotes Ronald Reagan saying that Vietnam vets aren’t eligible for the GI Bill because their war wasn’t declared. It’s not true. 1975—South Vietnam’s last president, Nguyen Van Thieu, bugs out. 1972—General Wm. Westmoreland, ex-U.S. commander in Vietnam, is pelted with tomatoes in …

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Tues, April 20

2017—The remains of South African hunter Scott Van Zyl are recovered from a crocodile in Zimbabwe. 2010—Deepwater Horizon explodes and burns; 11 die and the world’s largest oil spill ensues. Wrists are slapped. 2008—The New York Times reveals that many “independent military analysts” appearing on TV are really Pentagon puppets. 2001—The Peruvian Air Force, with some help from CIA “contract workers,” fires on a plane they think is full of dope. Nope; it’s full of proseletyzing American Baptists, two of whom die. 1979—Canoeing near Plains, Ga., President Jimmy Carter fights off a deranged swamp rabbit. 1973—The Supreme Court says N.H. residents are free to cover …

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Mon, April 19

2004—A government spokesman reveals that NORAD had run a training exercise based on a hijacked airliner crashing into a building. 1995—A Right Wing “militiaman” murders 168 souls in Oklahoma City. 1993—For the good of the children—who end up among the 80 dead anyway—the FBI attacks David Koresh’s Waco, Texas compound. 1989—The U.S.S. Iowa’s Gun Turret Two explodes, killing 47. The Navy tries blaming an innocent sailor, then, disregarding ancient powder, malfunctioning equipment, and unauthorized experiments, says it’s stumped. 1971—President Nixon, recipient of a $200K pledge from ITT—which is being prosecuted for anti-trust violations—tells Deputy A.G. Kleindienst “The ITT thing—stay the hell out of it. Is …

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