Volume 267 | No. 25

2003—Because life is sacred, Florida poisons Paul Hill, who shotgunned Dr. John Britton and his bodyguard because life is sacred. Rinse & repeat. 1991—Locked doors, dead phones, and a lack of fire alarms kill 25 workers in a North Carolina chicken plant. 1971—As Richard Nixon speaks at a Milk Producers’ convention in Chicago, an aide pockets his fee: a $5,000 bribe, which will pay the Plumbers who are, this day, breaking into the office of Daniel Ellsberg’s psychiatrist—at Nixon’s behest. 1955—Mamie Till Mobley holds an open-casket funeral for her murdered and mutilated son Emmett. 1950—American advisors arrive in Saigon to support NATO: France wants Vietnam, …

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1983—Mississippi’s execution of Jimmy Lee Gray goes poorly; executioner T. Berry Bruce is drunk. Officials clear the witness room after eight minutes, as Gray gasps, moans, and bangs his head on a steel pole. 1945—V-J Day—Japan surrenders to General “Dugout Doug” MacArthur aboard a battleship named after Pres. Harry S Truman’s home state. 1945—Cribbing freely from the U.S. Declaration of Independence, Ho Chi Minh declares Vietnam to be sovereign and independent. 1939—G-Man J. Edgar Hoover creates a “Custodial Detention Index,” a list of left wingers to detain without trial in case of “national emergency.” 1935—Recently rousted from Washington, D.C. by General Douglas MacArthur, 259 veterans …

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2019—Meteorologist-in-Chief Donald J. Trump tweets that Hurricane Dorian will hit Alabama hard. 2005—New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin calls for George W.[MD] Bush and FEMA to “get off your asses and do something” about his flooded city. 1989—Narcs trying to score crack near the White House for a George H.[H.]W. Bush presidential photo-op get the drug on their third try but not the film—their camera operator gets mugged by a homeless person. 1989—Bible-thumping huckster Jim Bakker’s fraud trial is briefly interrupted when, professing that he’s hallucinating, he’s taken to a mental institution in handcuffs and leg shackles. 1983—The USSR shoots down KAL Flight 007. Among the …

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2011—The Federal Election Commission bestirs itself and OKs an investigation of Rep. Frank Guinta [R-N.H.]. 2007—Unbeknownst to the pilots, a B-52 takes off from N.D. with six live nukes onboard. Arriving in La., it sits unguarded from noon to 10:00 p.m. 2004—To milk 9/11 for all it’s worth, the RNC convenes in New York City. Attendees mock John Kerry and wounded vets in general by wearing “Purple Heart” band-aids. 1979—Deftly wielding a canoe paddle, President Carter fends off a deranged swamp rabbit. 1979—For the first time, astronomers observe a comet hitting the sun. 1967—Thurgood Marshall becomes the first Black Associate Justice. 1964—At the Democratic Convention, …

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2013—Americans learn, thanks to Edward Snowden, that the annual “Black Budget” of the “Intelligence Community” is $52.6 billion a year. 2007—Due to careless accounting, an Air Force B-52 at Minot AFB in North Dakota is loaded with six live nukes, then left unguarded overnight. 1977—Skynet becomes self-aware. 1996—Dick Morris resigns; his habit of sucking hooker’s toes bugs boss Bill Clinton, who just got re-nominated. 1977—Memphis cops nab three people trying to steal Elvis’s corpse. 1970—A 23-member band of Native Americans scale Mount Rushmore and re-name it for Crazy Horse. 1968—A week-long rebellion erupts at the Long Binh Jail in Vietnam. 1957—Despite a 24 hr., 18 …

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2005—Hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans and the levees break. 1969—Judith Love Cohen completes the Abort Guidance System—later used to bring Apollo 13 back to Earth—while in labor in the maternity ward, then gives birth to Jack Black. 1968—Police preserve disorder at the Democratic Convention in Chicago. 1963—At the Lincoln Memorial, Martin Luther King, Jr. calls for freedom to ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire … . 1955—During a visit to family in Money, Miss., fourteen year-old Chicagoan Emmett Till is murdered by whites for speaking to a white woman. 1951—Killed in Korea, John R. Rice is denied burial at a Sioux City cemetery …

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