Volume 267 | No. 8

2020—Reacting to the U.S. drone-strike assassination of Iranian Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani in Baghdad, Iran fires missiles at bases in Iraq; 64 U.S. troops suffer traumatic brain injuries. Trump denies any were injured. 2007—The U.S.S. Newport News, submerged, collides with a Japanese oil tanker near the Strait of Hormuz. 2005—The U.S.S. San Francisco, submerged, collides at flank [top] speed with an undersea mountain near Guam. One sailor dies, 98 are injured. 2003—“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein,” explains George W.[MD] Bush, “because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.” 1992—At a formal dinner in …

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2021—A misguided mob of purported patriots attacks the Capitol to subvert democracy and install a dictatorial doofus. Five die, many are injured, but Dolt #45’s autogolpe fails; the Republic is spared by ineptitude. 2018—Pres. Donald J. Trump asserts that he is a “very stable genius.” 2006—George W.[MD] Bush OKs $20 million for a celebration of “success” in Iraq and Afghanistan. 2005—A switching error causes a 2:40 a.m. train wreck in Graniteville, S.C.; 60 tons of chlorine gas escape, killing nine immediately and one months later. 1986—One person dies and 100 are injured in an accident at Kerr-McGee’s nuclear fuel plant in Oklahoma. 1951—U.S.-backed South Korean …

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2021—As Dolt #45’s alleged brain trust schemes at the Willard, the FBI ignores a dire warning from its own Norfolk office, predicting violence. 2011—Freshly-minted Rep. Frank Guinta [R-N.H.] assures David Koch he’ll show fealty attend a party later. 1970—Kenneth Yablonski discovers his dad, UMW presidential challenger Joseph “Jock” Yablonski, his mom, and his sister dead. All were murdered in their sleep five days earlier on orders of incumbent UMW president “Tough Tony” Boyle. 1968—Feds indict Dr. Spock for expressing concern about the health of his ex-patients now in uniform. 1968—The CIA sends LBJ a third report on its illegal surveillance of U.S. students. It, too, …

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1971—George Mellendorf, in Vietnam, mails a letter to the White House complaining of slow mail delivery. His answer arrives in 1978. 1965—Having forced UC Berkeley Regents to drop their ban on political speech, the Free Speech Movement holds a rally that’s legal for a change. 1960—During a Minimum Interval Takeoff at Pease AFB, the second in a flight of three B-47s crashes and burns; four crewmen die. 1958—In a New York cab, ex-Commie, ex-McCarthy aide and ex-editor of Confidential Howard Rushmore shoots his wife, then himself. 1956—A Senate Internal Security Subcommittee begins investigating newspapers, including the New York Times, for alleged Commie influence. 1955—The U.S. …

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2021—Dolt #45 tries to replace Acting AG Rosen with Jeffrey Clark, who’s more likely to back his coup. 2006—Hotshot Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff pleads guilty to three felony counts for defrauding Indian tribes and bribing officials. 1967—Jack Ruby conveniently dies in prison while awaiting retrial. 1966—Ronald Reagan announces for Governorship of California, claiming it leads in bankruptcies and has 40% higher unemployment than the rest of the country, neither of which is true. 1966—Navy vet and civil rights activist Samuel L. Younge, Jr., 21, is murdered in Tuskeegee, Ala., by a white, 68-year-old gas station attendant later acquitted by an all-white jury. 1961—In Idaho, three …

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2021—Georgia Sec. of State Brad Raffensperger refuses Dolt #45’s demand that he “find 11,780 votes.” 1996—At Bill Clinton’s invitation, Monica Lewinsky drops by the Oval Office. Sequestered in the bathroom, he violates his marriage vows. 1972—During a one-hour interview on CBS, Richard Nixon tells Dan Rather that the bombing in Southeast Asia had been“very, very effective.” Next day in a note to Hank Kissinger, he tells the truth: “The result = zilch.” 1970—The Supreme Court nixes Gen. Hershey’s effort to reclassify all draft protestors as 1-A, or draftable. 1967—In Florida, 72 men are arrested, thwarting an invasion of Haiti financed by CBS in exchange for …

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