Volume 270 | No. 1

2015—After meeting with evangelicals, Trump asks an aide, “Can you believe people believe that bullshit?” 2014—Future President D.J. Trump tweets, “Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection. They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up!” 2001—To avoid further scorn in these pages, Fleet Bank removes its 18-foot tall green, illuminated sign from the middle of Pleasant Street’s sidewalk. 1978—Pope John Paul I dies 33 days into his papacy under circumstances that raise suspicions of murder. 1960—Ted Williams takes the plate at Fenway for his last at bat. He hits his 521st home …

Read more

2018—Brett Kavanaugh whines, weeps, and shouts while badgering the Senate Judiciary Committee. 2002—Donald Rumsfeld says a made-up link between al-Qaeda and Iraq is “accurate and not debatable.” 2000—Frank Wills, the guard who discovered the Watergate burglary, dies at 52, of a brain tumor, in poverty. 1994—On the Capitol steps, 350 GOP candidates led by Newt Gingrich take out a Contract on America. 1989—To show kids there are more constructive things to do than take drugs, Jeffrey Petkovitch and Peter DeBernardi climb into a barrel and go over Niagara’s Horseshoe Falls. 1986—The United Way of Cleveland holds a fundraiser, releasing 1,429,643 helium balloons. Rain and a …

Read more

2022—Mysterious forces sabotage Russia’s NordStream gas pipeline. 2016—“We’ve got a couple things up our sleeve that should turn this thing around,” says Rudy Giuliani, two days before Jim Comey reveals the Clinton email investigation is on again. 2001—Six or eight CIA spooks invade Afghanistan in a Soviet Mi-17 helicopter with $3 million cash. 1983—Lieutenant Colonel Stanislav Petrov disregards Red Army computers showing attacking American nuclear missiles. For thus averting World War III, Col. Petrov is reprimanded. 1955—As Franco visits Barcelona, Quico Sabaté roams the city in a cab, distributing anti-regime leaflets through the sun-roof with a mortar. 1950—A U.S. Navy minesweeper begins six days of …

Read more

2008—Somali pirates capture the MV Faina, a 500-foot freighter whose cargo includes 33 Soviet tanks. 2007—Because Judge Sharon Keller refuses to work overtime, Texas gets to kill Michael Richard on schedule. 2003—An early draft of an interim report from weapons inspectors in Iraq says no WMD have been found. 2002—Disregarding facts, George W.[MD] Bush says, “You can’t distinguish between al-Qaeda and Saddam when you talk about the war on terror.” 1966—The White Sox beat the Yankees 4-1, at Yankee Stadium. Attendance is 413, the lowest ever. 1961—State Rep. E.H. Hurst murders Black voting advocate Herbert Lee at mid-day in Magnolia, Miss. Coroner’s jury: “justifiable homicide.” …

Read more

2007—A plane once used for “rendition” flights, carrying alleged terrorists to Gitmo, crashes in the Yucatan with 3.3 tons of cocaine on board. 2006—The New York Times reports that our spies think the Iraq War makes Islamic terrorism more likely. 2006—George W.[MD] Bush says, “When the final history is written on Iraq, it will look just like a comma.” 1981—CIA boss Bill Casey says the Freedom of Information Act shouldn’t apply to intelligence agencies. 1978—On his yacht in Chesapeake Bay, right-handed CIA spook John Paisley takes a shotgun blast behind his left ear. It’s ruled suicide. 1968—Protestors destroy 10,000 draft files in Milwaukee, Wis. 1956—Peyton …

Read more

1999—The $328 million Climate Orbiter crashes on Mars, because Lockheed forgot to use the metric system. 1990—As Dan Quayle speaks at a $2,500-plate fundraiser in Portland, Ore., the Reverse Peristalsis Painters protest by vomiting red, white, and blue mashed potatoes. 1989—Army Rangers and a gang of drug dealers have a half-hour gun battle across Tacoma’s Ash Street; despite 300 rounds fired, there are no KIAs. 1975—Already fired for spying on citizens, ex-CIA counterintelligence chief James Jesus Angleton testifies, “certain individual rights have to be sacrificed for the national security.” 1960—Allen Ginsberg, Peter Orlovsky, and LeRoi Jones meet in Manhattan with Fidel Castro. 1957—Nine Black students …

Read more