Volume 271 | No. 3

2005—Diagnosed with terminal cancer, a woman requests a refund of a down payment on some real estate. Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.)., a recent Powerball winner ($853K), says “No.” 2005—Saddam Hussein goes on trial in Baghdad for crimes against humanity and pissing off Bushes. 2000—George W.[MD] Bush says at the Al Smith Dinner, “This is an impressive crowd, the haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base.” 1998—Shortly before his likely re-election, Tennessee Senator Tommy Burks [D] is murdered by his middle-name-changing opponent, Byron Low Tax Looper [R]. 1987—Computers say stocks are too damn high—the Dow drops 22 pct. …

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2017—Turning Point USA stages a demo at Kent State to “own the libs.” Featuring a college student wearing a diaper, it does not go over well. 2017—U.S. President Donald Trump signs a check for $35,000 to repay his lawyer for buying the silence of a porn star with whom he had an affair. 2014—Thousands of college-age cretins, urged on by social media company Finnarage, set fires, throw billiard balls, and overturn cars, putting an end to the Keene Pumpkin Festival. 2003—The president of Bolivia is driven out of office (and country) by disgruntled peasants tired of being sold out to international capitalists. 1979—“The standard of …

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2001—Only Sen. Russ Feingold votes “nay” on the “PATRIOT” Act. 1983—U.S. troops protect us–and distract from the deaths of 241 Marines in Beirut–by invading Grenada. 1978—In response to GOP malfeasance, FISA is enacted—thereby enabling future GOP malfeasance. 1973—Henry Kissinger, Alexander Haig, and other unelected officials raise America’s military readiness level to DEF CON 3 as Nixon sleeps. 1962—Nuclear-armed jets scramble from Duluth AFB because a guard shot a bear climbing a perimeter fence thinking it was an infiltrator. 1960—Martin Luther King, Jr. gets four months at hard labor in Decatur, Georgia on old traffic charges. 1944—A Japanese armada surprises “Taffy 3”—a far smaller U.S. Navy …

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