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2025—The Presidential Sharpie scribbles on NSDM-7, re-defining reality. Now if you don’t love America, Christianity, or capitalism enough – or if you love immigrants too much – you’re fomenting political violence. 2007—Because Judge Sharon Keller refuses to work overtime, Texas gets to kill Michael Richard on schedule. 2002—Disregarding facts, George W.[MD] Bush says, “You can’t distinguish between al-Qaeda and Saddam when you talk about the war on terror.” 1966—The White Sox beat the Yankees 4-1, at Yankee Stadium. Attendance is 413, the lowest ever. 1961—State Rep. E.H. Hurst murders Black voting advocate Herbert Lee at mid-day in Magnolia, Miss. Coroner’s jury: “justifiable homicide.” 1959—The U.S. …

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2007—A plane once used for “rendition” flights, carrying alleged terrorists to Gitmo, crashes in the Yucatan with 3.3 tons of cocaine on board. 2006—The New York Times reports that our spies think the Iraq War makes Islamic terrorism more likely. 2006—George W.[MD] Bush says, “When the final history is written on Iraq, it will look just like a comma.” 1981—CIA boss Bill Casey says the Freedom of Information Act shouldn’t apply to intelligence agencies. 1978—On his yacht in Chesapeake Bay, right-handed CIA spook John Paisley takes a shotgun blast behind his left ear. It’s ruled suicide. 1968—Protestors destroy 10,000 draft files in Milwaukee, Wis. 1956—Peyton …

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1999—The $328 million Climate Orbiter crashes on Mars, because Lockheed forgot to use the metric system. 1990—As Dan Quayle speaks at a $2,500-plate fundraiser in Portland, Ore., the Reverse Peristalsis Painters protest by vomiting red, white, and blue mashed potatoes. 1989—Army Rangers and a gang of drug dealers have a half-hour gun battle across Tacoma’s Ash Street; despite 300 rounds fired, there are no KIAs. 1975—Already fired for spying on citizens, ex-CIA counterintelligence chief James Jesus Angleton testifies, “certain individual rights have to be sacrificed for the national security.” 1960—Allen Ginsberg, Peter Orlovsky, and LeRoi Jones meet in Manhattan with Fidel Castro. 1957—Nine Black students …

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2023—Canada’s Parliament gives a standing ovation to “Ukrainian hero” Yaroslav Hunka—an SS vet of WW II. 2003—“A year from now,” Richard Perle says, “I’ll be very surprised if there is not some grand square in Baghdad that is named after President Bush.” 1987—Navy Reserve Capt. Timothy J. Dorsey shoots down a Navy plane during a training exercise. Its crew survives with injuries. Dorsey’s career is unscathed: daddy’s an Admiral. 1975—’Nam vet Oliver Sipple deflects Sarah Jane Moore’s shot, saving Jerry Ford. Harvey Milk outs him; newspapers report he’s gay. He dies at 47, drunk, disowned, and alone. 1970—President Nixon demands more FBI spies for college …

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2014—ISIS calls Sec. of State John Kerry an “uncircumcised old geezer.” 2001—CIA chief George Tenet tells the V.P. his claim that Iraq and al-Qaeda are linked is crap, but Dick “Dick” Cheney goes on repeating it. 1989—The Chase Manhattan Bank accepts for deposit a check sent as a prank by Spy Magazine. Endorsed by “short-fingered vulgarian” Donald J. Trump, it’s for $0.13. 1983—President Reagan’s Interior Secretary James G. Watt boasts about his staff’s diversity: “I have a Black, a woman, two Jews, and a cripple.” 1982—Edward Lee Howard, a CIA officer suspected of spying for the U.S.S.R., eludes FBI surveillance in Santa Fe and splits …

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2024—Tom Homan, who’s now Border Czar, accepts $50,000 cash in a paper bag, telling FBI agents he’ll help them get contracts if Trump is elected. 2006—“The devil came here yesterday,” says Hugo Chavez at the UN, “and it smells of sulfur still today.” 2001—George W.[MD] Bush declares a War on a noun, viz., Terror, before a joint session of Congress, which somehow takes him seriously. 1968—A U.S. military spokesman in Saigon says Agent Orange has no harmful effects on human health. 1958—A deranged woman stabs Martin Luther King, Jr. while he’s autographing books in Harlem. 1945—Ex-Nazi, former SS member, and rocket scientist Wernher von Braun …

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