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Two Kings or None?

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Two men named Thomas, born a century and a half apart, had the vision to see what this country might some day become. Thomas Morton overthrew the leaders of a group of settlers sent by Ferdinando Gorges to found the short-lived Merrymount, in what is now Quincy. Morton called himself “Mine Host,” and declared himself the equal of all the former indentured servants in the group. As long as they were able, they cohabited peacefully with the area’s indigenous people. Settlers and natives all celebrated May Day of 1627 together by dancing around a May Pole topped with a set of antlers. Such fun could …

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Volume 270, No. 17

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We were aware of today’s national May Day protest, but we did not deviate from our usual routine. Why? Because, in publishing this newspaper, putting workers over billionaires is what we do. As proof, we offer our issue dated May Day, 2026. To read it, just give this link a click.

Fri, May 1

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2022—The Union Leader reports that its late publisher, arch-conservative William Loeb, had sexually molested his daughter and his step-daughter. 1999—The New Hampshire Gazette resumes regular (fortnightly) publication in Portsmouth. 1989—“Bill” Gardner, Secretary of State for Life, assigns rights to the trade name New Hampshire Gazette to a collateral descendant of the founder. 1975—Tom Polgar sends CIA’s last cable from Saigon: “…we have lost.…Let us hope…that we have learned our lesson. Saigon signing off.” 1960—Gary Powers’ U-2 is hit by a missile, but he doesn’t hit the eject button. The plane’s crew had tipped him off: it was rigged to destroy him along with the plane. …

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Thurs, April 30

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2011—The Department of Defense adopts CONPLAN 8888-11 “Counter-Zombie Dominance”. 1993—The first website goes online. 1981—Vatican police collar Don Novello, aka Father Guido Sarducci, for impersonating a priest. 1977—The Clamshell Alliance assembles at Seabrook to fight the nuke. 1975—The Commies take Saigon. 1973—Rabid Nixon supporter Rev. Sun Myung Moon gets a green card. 1973—Announcing their resignations, Richard Nixon calls felons-to-be John D. Ehrlichman and H.R. Haldeman “two of the finest public servants I have ever known.” 1971—Medal of Honor recipient Dwight H. Johnson is shot to death while robbing a Detroit grocery store. 1956—Former Vice President Alben Barkley concludes his keynote speech to the Washington and …

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Wed, April 29

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2014—Despite nine tries, Okla. prison officials miss Clayton Lockett’s veins; the poison goes into muscle. Without enough left to kill, they discuss options as he writhes. He ends their debate by dying of a heart attack. 2004—The Commission “investigat­ing” 9/11 allows George W.[MD] Bush and Dick “Dick” Cheney to “testify” without taking an oath. 1992—A mostly-white jury in Simi Valley finds L.A. police not guilty of assaulting Rodney King. Soldiers and Marines end the rioting six days later. 1975—Twenty-five helicopters worth $10 million are shoved off USS Midway so SVAF Maj. Buang-Ly can land a Cessna he stole to save his family. On land, Marines …

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Tues, April 28

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2011—During a speech in Las Vegas, Donald Trump drops about seven f-bombs, promising to tell the Chinese, “listen you mother______s, we’re going to tax you 25 percent.” 2006—Rush Limbaugh’s lawyers announce that their fine work will keep their dope-addled client out of prison. 2004—The SEC says banks can risk more money and keep less on hand. 2004—Frank Lautenberg [D-N.J.] says on the floor of the Senate, “We know who the chickenhawks are. They talk tough on national defense and military issues…but when it was their turn to serve, they were AWOL.” 1988—Aloha Airlines 737 develops a 20 foot hole in its fuselage; stewardess Clarabelle Lansing …

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