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Sat, Nov 6

2018—Nevada’s 36th district elects brothel-owner Dennis Hoff to the State Assembly by a huge margin. He’s been dead for three weeks. 2016—FBI Director James Comey says never mind about those emails. 2012—Trump tweets, “The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy.” 2000—Saddam Hussein stops accepting dollars for oil, thus undermining U.S. hegemony and possibly shortening his own life. 1998—Newt Gingrich says he’s resigning as Speaker of the House because he’s “not willing to preside over people who are cannibals.” 1984—Reagan defeats Mondale—it’s mourning in America. 1977—A dam owned and modified by the Toccoa Falls Bible Institute in Georgia fails, killing 39 people. 1971—The AEC …

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Time Bandits Expected to Strike Again!

Insidious Plot Revealed! We have been holding back the following story for generations. Only now can it be told. Previously, the public could not handle the truth we are about to reveal. New tools, however, facilitating the free exchange of all sorts of information, have inspired a whole new generation of patriots. They are willing—eager, even—and more-or-less able to do their own research and draw their own conclusions. Some even create visual aids on garret walls, using pins and red yarn to indicate sinister connections. No longer are the yearning masses restricted to the bland media diet of pablum formerly force-fed to them by “legacy …

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What Are the Odds?

When we last went to press, AP had just fact-checked Individual-1’s assertion that “the real insurrection happened on November 3rd, the Presidential Election, not on January 6th—which was a day of protesting the Fake Election results.” Hidebound as ever, AP passed up the chance to level the charge “fake” at the statement’s perpetrator, settling for the prim term “false.” Normally we would refrain from wasting ink and paper on the blatherings of a person clearly untethered from reality and unfettered by morality. What makes this newsworthy is that it’s such an appalling spectacle: the august AP fact-checking the jabberings of a depraved baboon.* How has …

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Fri, Nov 5

2004—Report: Bush got 3,893 votes in one Franklin Co., Ohio district, where only 638 ballots were cast. 1986—’Nam vet Ron McIntosh hijacks a helicopter and uses it to free his girlfriend from the Federal prison he escaped six days earlier. 1974—In New Hampshire, Louis C. Wyman gets 355 more votes than John Durkin. It ain’t over yet, though; 317 days later, Durkin’s a Senator. 1968—George Wallace wins five states in the deep South. 1964—A loaded KC-97 crashes on takeoff at Pease: five crewmen die. 1949—Deranged WW II veteran and daily churchgoer Howard Unruh (1921—2009) shoots 16 people, killing 13, in Camden, N.J. 1935—After cheaply buying …

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Thurs, Nov 4

2016—“Calm down,” reads the headline over a Washington Post column, “We’ll be fine no matter who wins.” 1979—Militant Shi’ite Muslims take 66 Americans hostage in Teheran, dooming the Carter administration. 1975—A neocon cabal reshuffles the Ford cabinet for him. Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Bush take over. 1964—Lenny Bruce is found guilty of obscenity in New York City. 1960—In Dallas, a vicious “Mink Coat Mob” angrily confronts Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson. Revulsion at its tactics cost Nixon Texas. 1958—A U.S. B-47 bomber carrying nukes crashes near Abilene, Texas. High explosives detonate. Nuclear materials are recovered later. 1955—CIA HQ responds to Caracas Station re: report that Adolf …

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