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Happy Day

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Friday, April 23, 2010 — It doesn’t take all that much to make us happy. The papers were delivered on time. The mailing crew arrived, enjoyed a lively conversation about the events of the past fortnight while preparing the papers, then dispersed. Hundreds of papers are in the mail and on their way to forty-some-odd states. The kinks in the Digital Subscription system seem to be worked out. Some of our online subscribers may be downloading their PDFs even as we type. It’s time now to head downtown and make sure things have gone smoothly on that end. After that, there will be a few …

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

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Thursday, April 22, 2010 — In one hour and 22 minutes our proofreaders will arrive … 2004—In Afghanistan, U.S. soldiers shoot former NFL football player Specialist Pat Tillman. 2002—“The Taliban is out of business permanently,” says Dick “Dick” Cheney at a GOP fundraiser in Florida. 2000—Federal agents snatch political pawn Elian Gonzalez from his colorful Miami relatives. 1990—Guilford Co., N.C. postpones Earth Day to April 28th so as not to interfere with the K-Mart Greater Greensboro Open Golf Tournament. 1971—Capitol police arrest 110 Vietnam veterans for serenading the Supreme Court with God Bless America. 1971—Former Navy Lieutenant John Kerry asks Congress, “How do you ask …

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

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Wednesday, April 21 — Apparently we made it through April 19 and 420 without harm. Now if you’ll excuse us we’ll go back to working on the newsprint end of the operation …. 1999—To honor those killed at Columbine the day before, NRA president Charlton Heston says the gun lobby will cut short its Denver convention by one day. 1992—At about 3:00 a.m., Robert Alton Harris is strapped into San Quentin’s gas chamber. Twelve minutes later amid legal wrangling, he’s taken back out. At 6:00 a.m., he’s put back in and gassed. 1989—Chinese students demonstrate in Tiananmen Square. 1986—On live TV, Geraldo Rivera opens Al …

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

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Tuesday, April 20, 2010 — We should note that when we publish these morsels online here, we include some that will not fit into the limited space available on page eight. 2008—The New York Times reveals that many “independent military analysts” appearing on TV are really Pentagon puppets. 2008—Adelir Antonio de Carli, a Brazilian Catholic priest, in a chair suspended from 1,000 party balloons, reaches 19,685 feet before disappearing over the Atlantic. 2004—George W. Bush tells a Buffalo audience that the government doesn’t wiretap without a court order. 2001—The Peruvian Air Force, with some help from CIA “contract workers,” fires on a plane they think …

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

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Monday, April 19, 2010 — As objective journalists we are prohibited by law and custom from taking sides on any issue. That having been said we confess to harboring the hope that this day will pass without any extraordinary expressions of patriotism from the confused. Also, we send out a salute across the centuries to Isaiah Thomas, who was once an apprentice to Daniel Fowle‘s peculiar brother Zechariah (See 1775). 2004—A government spokesman reveals that NORAD had run a training exercise based on a hijacked airliner crashing into a building. 1995—RIP 168 souls in Oklahoma City. 1993—For the good of the children, who end up …

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

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Sunday, April 18, 2010 — The designer of the universe apparently intended for the events listed here to occur on this date. Unless otherwise noted, none of them were our idea; complaints should be addressed to the diety of your choice. These entries are terse because unlike the Interwebs, newsprint is finite. Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide accomodates fourteen of these on a single page. An example is shown at right; the original size is 1.4 inches by 5.9 inches. This digital medium being what it is, the reader might reasonably expect to find here links to further resources regarding these events. If we …

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