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Security, Killers, and Crackpots

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Friday, October 26, 2007 — “I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.” — Mark Twain 2003—Iraqi resistance fighters nearly get Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz with a rocket in Baghdad. 2001—George W. Bush eagerly signs the USA PATRIOT Act. 1979—South Korean President Chung-hee is shot by the head of the South Korean C.I.A. 1972—Henry the K., lying as usual, says “Peace is at hand.” 1962—As planning for massive air strikes continues, President John F. Kennedy gets a telegram from Nikita Khrushchev offering to swap Soviet missiles …

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Two Dead Kings, One By Monkey

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Thursday, October 25, 2007 — “The writer operates at a peculiar crossroads where time and place and eternity somehow meet. His problem is to find that location.” — Flannery O’Connor 2001—Only one Senator—Russ Feingold—votes against the USA PATRIOT Act. 1973—As Nixon sleeps, Henry Kissinger, Alexander Haig, and five other unelected officials raise America’s military readiness level to DEF CON 3. 1962—Nuclear-armed F-106s scramble after a guard shoots a bear climbing a fence at a Duluth Air Force base, thinking it’s an intruder. 1962—Ambassador Adlai Stevenson produces photos of Soviet missiles in Cuba at the UN as U.S. military forces go to DEFCON 2. 1960—Martin Luther …

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Patriotism, Piety, Murder, and Monsters

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007—Page Sixteen of The New Hampshire Gazette is devoted to Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes). This semi-popular feature graphically illustrates the state of our mighty river’s extraordinary tides over the course of the coming fortnight. We get our tidal data and its cunning graphic representation (see the wavy gray lines at the center and bottom of the page at right) from the WWW Tide and Current Predictor, which we love unconditionally. The Tidal Guide is supplemented with notable historic events of each day. It has occurred to us that we might just as well post those items …

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Missions Accomplished

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Friday, October 19 – This space has been rather quiet lately. We spent about a week hammering on 1s and 0s to make our new Distribution map work. Then we had to scurry to organize a rather large number of letters, words, sentences, paragraphs, photographs, and miscellaneous other components into something that vaguely resembles a newspaper. We’re pleased to report that the paper is now on the street, and in the mail. Among other things, it includes an account of the Flag Police’s encounter with the shamefully-tattered flag shown at right. They spotted it right across the street from The Clip Joint. The Flag Police …

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Here It Is

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Thursday, October 11 — No doubt some visitors wondered if we’d wandered off and gotten lost in some dusty corridor, and become bemused by a dusty old volume of back issues from a previous century. No, not this time. We have been nudging tiny little patches of magnetism one way and another, making piles and stacks of them, knocking them over accidentally, spilling coffee on them, brushing them with our frayed coatsleeves, arguing with them, threatening them, bribing them, pleasing with them, nearly despairing of them, and, finally, somehow, coercing them, to organize themselves in such a way that they have produced this map, showing …

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Red Sky at Morning

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Wednesday, September 26 — Sailors, take warning. Granted, our little Canon may have over-emphasized the red end of the spectrum when old Sol peered over the Atlantic about 6:34 a.m., but that doesn’t mean the forces of greed and stupidity aren’t out to take away our freedom. Aside from the photograph above, about all we have to offer today are a couple of new links, and the same old argument (see below for that). Then we have to disappear behind the curtain and continue development of one of our more insidious schemes to assist in the takeover of this government by the citizens. Naomi Wolf …

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