The Alleged Editor

About That Electoral College…

Dear Editor, “Everything was done in strict compliance with applicable law, under the advice of counsel and tax experts,” said Alan Garten, the Trump Organization’s general counsel, as quoted in the New York Times (“Manhattan D.A. Intensifies Investigation of Trump,” December 11, 2020). That mantra is used to defend a man whose taxes and financial dealings are under investigation for fraud. That is the mantra for a self-proclaimed billionaire who is reported to have paid only $750 in taxes in some years, and nothing at all in other years. Although he may have stepped over the line of legal activity, clearly, it indicates a genius …

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Eat More Test-Tube Burgers

To the Editor, If President-elect Joe Biden is serious about addressing climate change, he should support federal funding for cultured-meat research. For those who don’t know, cultured meat is grown from cells, without slaughtering our fellow creatures. It will dramatically reduce the environmental damage caused by animal agriculture. Cultured meat requires a fraction of the land, freshwater, and greenhouse-gas emissions that slaughtered flesh does. As Henning Steinfeld of the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organization said, “Livestock are one of the most significant contributors to today’s most serious environmental problems. Urgent action is required to remedy the situation.” The truth is animal agriculture is a …

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Marvelous Monday

Monday was disorienting. A good day? But…isn’t this still 2020? Yes, it is, and so it’s no time to let down our guard. But, as with November 3rd, it was a good day regardless: health care workers began receiving vaccinations against the plague, the worst Attorney General in U.S. history quit, and the Electoral College—perhaps the least-loved feature of that anachronistic contraption we call our Constitution—passed up a prime opportunity to bite democracy on the…posterior. We who have escaped death by the virus—thus far, anyway—and resisted, perhaps, the siren call of the gas stove, bridge abutment, or tall building, owe it to ourselves to hold …

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The 6.8 Billion Dollar Daily Ripoff

The staff of the Marketplace Morning Report usually tries to make the economy interesting. It’s not easy. The subject of the show, which airs weekdays on NHPR, is famously nicknamed “the dismal science.” On December 8th, though, we wonder if they soft-pedaled the story, for fear of insurrection. It often seems that that day’s topic—income inequality—has been beaten to death by now. In abstract terms, it has. Percentages, changes over time, blah blah blah. A little dismal science can go a long way towards combatting insomnia. This time, though, an interesting character decided to ask the right question the right way. Early in his career, …

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President Humpty Dumpty Trumpty’s Great Fall

President Humpty Dumpty Trumpty had a Great Fall. Some people have said it was the greatest fall of all time. No one has ever seen anything like it. In fact, there may never again be anything like it—because we might not survive this one. The last we heard, President Humpty Dumpty Trumpty retained full authority to demand the nuclear football, right along with his next bag full of Big Macs.® If we were in a comic strip, the joke would be on the angry, overweight, overgrown child. Alas, we’re not; the joke is on us. For all his vain posturing, the real Michael Richard Pence …

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A Court More Pious Than the Pope

We are in a theater. We cannot leave; the doors are locked and we’re chained into the seats. On the screen is a horror movie. We’re about 300 reels into it. We should be bored out of our wits. We’re not just the audience, though. We’re the cast, too. Half of us are screaming, “Don’t open that door!” Up on the screen, though…. Someone opened the door. Of course someone opened the door. Not only do they have every right to open it, but you, you hateful, despicable person, have shown yourself to be un-American by questioning their right to do so. Doors flew open …

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