The Alleged Editor

Incompetence and Negligence at the Top

Dear Sir: In a recent interview regarding the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, Governor Sununu said, “The State could be looking at 500 to 1,000 new daily cases by the end of the month.” He further stated, “I am assuming we’re beginning the phase of a very aggressive spike.” Dr. Benjamin Chan, the New Hampshire State Epidemiologist warned, “This is a virus that likes to take advantage of crowds, groups of people gathering in close contact and indoor spaces, and it’s these settings which are going to pose a challenge as we enter the colder months.” Clearly, the Governor and Dr. Chan understand the coming tsunami of …

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Flotsam & Jetsam

Forest ranger at Yosemite National Park, explaining why it is hard to design the perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking into it: “There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.” – @mathematicsprof –=≈=– Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. – Ambrose Bierce

Fri, Nov 20

2008—Sarah Palin is interviewed on live TV while, in the background, turkeys are being slaughtered. 1980—In Louisiana, an oil rig drilling in the wrong spot hits a salt mine under Lake Peigneur. The rig, 11 barges, and a tugboat disappear. 1979—Fundamentalists seize Mecca’s Grand Mosque, full of hostages. The CIA blames guiltless Iran. 1975—Spanish dictator Francisco Franco dies. Reportedly he’s still dead. 1969—News reports say American GIs massacred hundreds of civilians at “Pinkville” on March 16, 1968. 1969—Eighty-nine American Indians again attempt to occupy Alcatraz; 14 evade a Coast Guard blockade and achieve their objective. 1962—The Cuban Missile Crisis blows over, rather than up. With …

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Thurs, Nov 19

2005—Marines in Haditha murder 24 unarmed Iraqi men, women, and children. One man is tried and convicted of dereliciton of duty. 1969—Congress cleverly undermines the opposition to the Vietnam War by introducing a draft lottery. 1967—A 500 lb. bomb from a U.S.M.C. F4 Phantom kills 45 paratroopers of the 173d Airborne Brigade and wounds 45 more during the Battle of Dak To. 1962—Dick “Dick” Cheney racks up his first drunk driving conviction in Cheyenne, Wyo. 1960—At a party in New York, Norman Mailer stabs his second wife. 1932—A petition is signed by 19 of Germanys top industrialists asking President Hindenburg to appoint a new Chancellor: Adolf …

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Wed, Nov 18

2005—Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) apologizes to ’Nam combat vet Rep. Jack Murtha (D-Pa.) on the House floor for implying he’s a coward. 1999—Texas A&M’s student-built Bonfire—a 59-foot stack of vertical logs—somehow collapses; 12 die. 1997—Operation Northwoods is exposed: the 1962 plan would have murdered U.S. citizens on the street to build support for an invasion of Cuba. 1988—Congress jacks up penalties for smoking crack. Lighter penalties for powder cocaine are unchanged. 1978—Jim Jones and 913 followers drink cyanide-laced Flavor-Aid in Jonestown, Guyana. 1977—“Dynamite Bob” Chambliss gets life for his 1963 bombing of Birmingham’s 16th Street Church. 1964—Disregarding Richard Nixon, J. Edgar Hoover calls Martin Luther …

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Tues, Nov 17

2008—Citigroup announces it will sack 52,000 workers. 2006—“We’ll succeed [in Iraq] unless we quit,” says George W.[MD] Bush. 2003—An Austrian muscleman becomes Governator of California. 1995—Multitasking President Clinton speaks on the phone with a Congressman while violating his marriage vows with an intern. 1995—The Commander of the Pacific Fleet calls the rape of an Okinawan girl “stupid.” The culprit should have hired a prostitute instead, he says. 1992—Dateline broadcasts a rigged video of a GM truck exploding. 1973—Speaking to newspaper editors at Disney World, Richard M. Nixon says, “I am not a crook.” 1965—First Cav survivors of the Ia Drang are marched into an ambush; …

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