Mash Notes, Hate Mail & Other Correspondence

Dear Editor, What can be learned from the coronavirus pandemic? Preparing for epidemics before they happen saves lives. Responding to epidemics at the first signs of outbreak saves lives and reduces damage. Denying there is a problem enables the catastrophe to accelerate. Delaying response causes preventable deaths and costs uncountable fortune. The cost of early preparation, prevention and response is substantial. The cost of early preparation, prevention and response is very low, compared to the cost of doing nothing. Can we apply these lessons to the global climate crisis? We are suffering early signs: hurricanes are more powerful and damaging; droughts are more severe and …

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Never saw the like of it before: four sets of railroad tracks on one side, four lanes of traffic on another, parking lots on either side, barely space for bushes and a patch of grass, an early April day, sun shining— and there, beside the fir tree, a fox. There, another.  Smaller.  And another! Three, four, five, six!  Incredible. A vixen and her six small kits, the mother keeping watch, aware of us, fifteen feet away, my wife and I, but not alarmed so long as we stood still, her babies tussling, tumbling, racing, pouncing, prancing, chasing one another, having fun, though never far from …

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To the Editor: I think this self-quarantine stuff is getting to me. I was so depressed last night thinking about social isolation, the economy, wars, jobs, Trump, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, nuclear disaster, global warming, and the future of printed news, that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was feeling suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. But they hung up on me when I told them my license had been revoked for a DUI. William Daniel Philadelphia, Penn.

Dear Editor: Special for me during isolation—by phone playing a Scrabble game just about daily with my 96-year-old friend Marylou in Florida, in assisted living, in isolation too. We have conversation while playing, so please don’t suggest online “Scrabble with Friends!” My Scrabble game’s box lid is falling apart, but in it I glued, when new, this article about the manufacture of Scrabble letters. The article is dated January 13, 1999. A Hasbro spokesman said, “The Bauhinia Limited Co. of Hong Kong is [now] making the wooden tiles and tile racks at its plant in Shanghai.” Also, “For 20 years, Milton Bradley Wood Products, Inc., …

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a found poem I. Donald Trump’s Failed Businesses Trump Steaks GoTrump Trump Airlines Trump Vodka Trump Mortgage Trump: The Game Trump Magazine Trump University Trump Ice The New Jersey Generals Tour de Trump Trump Network Trumped! II. Donald Trump’s Bankruptcies Trump Taj Mahal Trump’s Castle Trump Plaza Casinos Trump Plaza Hotel Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts Trump Entertainment Resorts W. D. Ehrhart Bryn Mawr, Penn.

To the Editor: In recent days, protestors carrying weapons and wearing Trump, Nazi and Confederate insignia, have confronted Democratic governors to demand that Covid-19 social distancing orders be lifted. In Michigan, their cars blocked ambulance access to a hospital. Protestors demand that governors “reopen” their states, public safety be damned. “When it’s my time to go, God’s going to call me home,” one said, with disregard for the safety of others. The protests themselves endanger lives, congregating in tight groups without masks, handing out candy to children with bare hands. Conservative media figures and officials have encouraged such protests, to “free” the states, suggesting that …

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