Volume 264 | No. 26

2006—“The devil came here yesterday,” says Hugo Chavez to the UN, “and it smells of sulfer still today.” 2001—George W.[MD] Bush declares a War on a noun, viz., Terror, before a joint session of Congress, which somehow takes him seriously. 1968—A U.S. military spokesman in Saigon says Agent Orange has no harmful effects on human health. 1958—A deranged woman stabs Martin Luther King, Jr. while he’s autographing books in Harlem. 1945—Ex-Nazi, former SS member, and rocket scientist Werner von Braun begins working for the U.S. 1830—In Philadelphia, 38 free Blacks form the National Negro Convention to abolish slavery. 1797—The frigate Constitution is launched in Boston. …

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2014—Iraq vet Omar J. Gonzalez jumps the fence and runs into the East Room of the White House. 2001—George W.[MD] Bush tells CIA chief George Tenet to look for links between S. Hussein and al-Qaeda and recommends Dick “Dick” Cheney as a source. 2001—The U.S. goes to war against Afghanistan—what could go wrong? 1991—Alpine tourists discover 5,300 year-old Ötzi the Iceman. 1980—After eight hours of fire, a missile silo in Arkansas explodes, hurling a nuclear weapon 600 feet. Somehow only one person is killed. 1964—The first gay rights demonstration is held at the Whitehall Army Induction Center in New York City. 1961—Betty and Barney Hill …

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2001—Five anthrax-laced letters are mailed to journalists. Five people die. The persons responsible escape justice. 2001—EPA Chief Christine Todd Whitman, complying with a White House request, says the air at “Ground Zero” is safe to breathe. 1987—The N.Y. Times reports the FBI’s been spying on public library patrons. 1980—Cuban Arnoldo Tamayo becomes the first Black person in space, thanks to the Soviet Union. 1980—A dropped 30-pound socket wrench hits a Titan II missile fuel tank in Damascus, Ark. The tank springs a leak; the leaking fuel catches fire. 1975—The FBI catches “Tanya,” press baron Wm. Randolph Hearst’s bank-robbing granddaughter. 1970—RIP Jimi Hendrix. 1961—UN Secretary General …

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2011—Occupy Wall Street begins. 2002—President George W.[MD] Bush says, “… fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me…you can’t get fooled again.” 2001—President George W.[MD] Bush gives the CIA secret authority to…do stuff. It’s classified. 1980—“Operation Reptile:” in Paraguay, a team of Sandinistas whack Anastasio Somoza with an RPG. 1967—The Mt. Washington cog railway train derails; eight die. 1955—A B-36 with a live nuclear reactor on board begins test flights. To assure it’s safe, paratroopers follow in another plane. 1948—The Zionist Stern Gang assassinates peace envoy Count Folke Bernadotte in Jerusalem. 1942—B-24 pilot J.D. Hardin tries again to sink U-506. The survivors aboard survive …

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2016—MSNBC, CNN, and Fox treat Donald Trump to a free 1.5 hour infomercial consisting mostly of a live shot of an empty podium. 2001—Dick “Dick” Cheney vows to work on “the dark side”—duh. 1976—Unelected Vice President Nelson Rockefeller is photographed giving “the finger” to students at SUNY Binghamton, N.Y. 1975—After winning by 355 votes, losing a recount by ten votes, and winning a ballot appeal by two votes, notorious Red-baiter Louis Wyman [R]—an appointed but not-seated Senator for three days—loses a special election to the droll John Durkin [D]. 1974—President Ford announces a conditional amnesty for Vietnam War deserters and draft dodgers. 1968—Richard M. Nixon …

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2008—Lehman Bros. drops 90 percent; the Dow is down 500 points. 2004—A 911 call brings D.C. cops to the bathroom of Rep. Don Sherwood (R-Pa.), 63. His mistress, Cynthia Ore, 28, says he choked her. 1982—Israeli Defense Forces surround Palestinian refugee camps Sabra and Shatila and let Christian Phalangist militiamen slaughter 3,500. 1980—A nuclear-armed B-52 burns for hours at Grand Forks AFB, N.D., but hey—nothing exploded! 1963—Two Klansmen bomb Birmingham’s 16th St. Baptist Church, killing four girls and injuring 22. One bomber is convicted 14 years later, despite the FBI withholding evidence. 1940—RAF pilot Ray Holmes, his Hurricane out of ammo, sees a Dornier heading …

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