Tues, Aug 16

2017—Free State reject Chris Cantwell posts a video online which earns him the moniker, “The Crying Nazi.” 1977—Elvis allegedly dies. 1971—John Dean writes his boss, Richard Nixon, a memo on how to “use the available federal machinery to screw our political enemies.” 1968—Armed guards subdue—temporarily—228 rioting Marines in the brig at Danang, wounding seven. 1966—Chaos erupts as HUAC tries to hold a hearing into anti-war protestors’ alleged aid to the Viet Cong. 1956—F-89s shoot up a car and two houses, and burn 800 acres of L.A., but can’t down a rogue target drone. 1951—In France, Pont-Saint-Esprit suddenly seems to go mad. Ergot is blamed at …

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Mon, Aug 15

1980—The rising popularity of skyjackings prompts the FAA to put more gun-totin’ sky marshals on airplanes. 1977—Ohio State’s “Big Ear” radio telescope records a 72-second burst suggesting there may be intelligent life…out there, somewhere. 1971—With the U.S. budget busted by the Vietnam War, Richard Nixon reneges on the gold standard. 1969—Half a million half-naked, drugged-up baby boomers begin a three-day mud wallow in Bethel, N.Y. 1966—The New York Herald Tribune, founded as the Tribune by N.H.-born Horace Greeley 125 years earlier, succumbs to a strike called by a labor union also founded by Greeley. 1953—TR’s grandson Kermit sends Iran’s Imperial Guard to arrest the Prime …

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The Latest…Whatever From Don Ewing

To the Editor: [Note: Mr. Ewing writes to us frequently. His letters repeatedly present the same set of editorial problems. Disregarding his letters altogether would the simplest solution. Doing so, however, would deprive our readers of a view into a pervasive mindset which, if left unchecked, ultimately will reduce mankind’s chances of survival. It would also deprive the editor of his fun, and we can’t have that. Therefore we advise our readers that by publishing Mr. Ewing’s letters, we do not endorse his views. Nor do we accept any assertions he presents as if they were facts. Further, we remind our readers that Mr. Ewing …

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Who Says Mondays Are No Fun?

Monday evening The Former Guy released a statement which began, “These are dark times for our nation, as my beautiful home, Mar-A-Lago in Palm Beach, Florida, is currently under siege, raided, and occupied by a large group of FBI agents. Nothing like this has ever happened to a President of the United States before.” This unexpected signal that the Justice Department may eventually bring the law to bear on the individual in question sent a tidal wave of schadenfreude across Blue America. Coming, as it did, amid what had been an apparent drought of consequences, the wounded, self-pitying tone of the statement—“They even broke into …

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S.S. America: “SOS”

According to the Admiral, there’s a reason competent captains insist on always keeping their vessels ship-shape. It’s not some petit bourgeois urge to impress passengers. Nor is it necessarily the reflection of an inner authoritarian need to control the crew’s every waking moment. It’s just a fundamental safety principle, put into practice. Because sooner or later, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, something is inevitably going to go wrong. If your systems are all in order, then you fix the problem and move on. If one system is jury-rigged when another goes haywire, you will soon be fully occupied just trying to …

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Sun, Aug 14

2019—The New York Times publishes “The 1619 Project,” arguing chattel slavery was central to the nation’s creation. Conservatives freak out. 1966—“As long as the United States and our brave allies are in the field,” says LBJ, “[a Communist takeover of South Vietnam] is impossible.” 1945—President Truman announces Japan has surrendered. Enlisted sailors in San Francisco celebrate their reprieve with three nights of looting, vandalism, rape, and murder. 1936—In Owensboro, Ky., at 5:30 a.m, 15,000 watch as Rainey Bethea becomes the last person publicly hanged in America. Arthur Hash, the assigned executioner, is so drunk a deputy sheriff has to pull the lever. 1935—FDR signs the …

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