Volume 269 | No. 4

2004—George W.[MD] Bush nominates a new AG. Alberto Gonzales ends up making John Ashcroft look a tad less terrible by comparison. 1982—The Vietnam Veterans Memorial, a gift to the nation from those it had shunned, opens in Washington, D.C. 1975—The ore carrier Edmund Fitzgerald sinks on Lake Superior, taking with her a crew of 29. 1973—In Drake, N.D. the school board fires a teacher and burns the book he assigned, Slaughterhouse Five. 1972—Facing bogus charges in Detroit, anti-police-brutality activist Louis Moore skyjacks a DC-9. Days later he’s in a Cuban prison and airline passengers are getting searched. 1964—Australia re-introduces the draft to protect the Empire …

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2020—“What is the downside for humoring him…?” a “senior Republican official” asks the Washington Post. “It’s not like he’s plotting how to prevent Joe Biden from taking power.” 1998—Brokers who rigged the game at NASDAQ  are compelled to pay their bilked customers $1 billion. 1989—TheBerlin Wall suddenly becomes unexpectedly porous. 1979—Zbigniew Brzezinski gets a call: “250 nuclear missiles incoming!” Then another: “Make that 2,000!” A third says, [Gilda voice.] “Never mind.” 1977—William C. Sullivan, former Hoover hatchet man who once predicted he’d be murdered in a faked accident, is accidentally shot by a fellow hunter in Sugar Hill, N.H. 1969—Indians land on Alcatraz. Some are …

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2020—The Wall Street Journal runs an op-ed by Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney under the headline, “If he loses, Trump will concede gracefully.” 2020—Dolt 45’s cracked legal team holds a press conference at the Four Seasons…Total Landscaping garage. 2007—Private Jessica Lynch accuses the Pentagon of exploiting her capture for propaganda purposes. 2000—Mel Carnahan defeats incumbent Sen. John Ashcroft [R-Mo.], despite being three weeks dead. 1961—Under Sec. of State George Ball warns JFK, “Within five years, we’ll have 300,000 men in the paddies and jungles and you’ll never find them again.” JFK tells Ball he’s “crazier than hell. That just isn’t going to happen.” 1957—Ike tells …

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2018—Nevada’s 36th district elects brothel-owner Dennis Hoff to the State Assembly by a huge margin. He’s been dead for three weeks. 2016—FBI Director James Comey says never mind about those emails. 2012—Trump tweets, “The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy.” 2000—Saddam Hussein stops accepting dollars for oil, thus undermining U.S. hegemony and possibly shortening his own life. 1998—Newt Gingrich says he’s resigning as Speaker of the House because he’s “not willing to preside over people who are cannibals.” 1984—Reagan defeats Mondale—it’s mourning in America. 1978—Congress and Carter give the rich fat tax cuts. Good-bye pension, hello 401(k), and increased inequality! 1971—The AEC detonates …

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1986—In a hijacked helicopter, ’Nam vet Ron McIntosh springs his girl from the prison he recently escaped. 1974—In New Hampshire, Louis C. Wyman gets 355 more votes than John Durkin. It ain’t over yet, though; 317 days later, Durkin’s a U.S. Senator. 1968—George Wallace wins five states in the deep South. 1964—A loaded KC-97 crashes on takeoff at Pease: five crewmen die. 1949—Daily churchgoer and deranged WW II veteran Howard Unruh (1921—2009) shoots 16 people, killing 13, in Camden, N.J. 1935—After buying the anti-capitalist game cheap, Parker Brothers markets a pro-capitalist Monopoly. 1930—Thinking the phone call is a hoax, Nobel winner Sinclair Lewis imitates his …

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2016—“Calm down,” reads the headline over a Washington Post column, “We’ll be fine no matter who wins.” 1988—“John Nada,” [Roddy Piper], comes to chew bubblegum and kick ass; and he’s all out of bubblegum. 1979—Militant Shi’ite Muslims take 66 Americans hostage in Teheran, dooming the Carter administration. 1975—A neocon cabal reshuffles the Ford cabinet for him. Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Bush take over. 1964—Lenny Bruce is found guilty of obscenity in New York City. 1960—In Dallas, a vicious “Mink Coat Mob” angrily confronts Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson. Revulsion at its tactics cost Nixon Texas. 1958—A U.S. B-47 bomber carrying nukes crashes near Abilene, Texas. High …

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