Month: February 2008

Order Out of Chaos

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Friday, February 29, 2008 — It’s a good thing this year had an extra day in it. We don’t know how we’d have managed otherwise. Not that we have things under control here. That will never happen; we’ll always be outnumbered, we’ll always be outgunned. But at least we’ve gotten caught up in a few areas. We’ve resolved our e-mail problem, for one thing. Also, out of the 229 papers we’ve published every fortnight since May 1, 1999, we now have 228 properly filed in the morgue. (February 11, 2000 is the one that’s missing, in case some packrat out there has a copy they …

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Temporarily Incommunicado

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Update, Tuesday, February 26, 2008 — Alright, then — our e-mail glitch is sorted out. Granted, this may seem to be pretty petty stuff to be posting about. On the other hand, bear in mind who it is we’re dealing with here. Monday, February 25, 2008 — We seem to have incurred the wrath of the Gods of the Intertubes. We can currently receive e-mails, but we cannot send them. As a result, we have before us the opportunity to relieve ourselves of up to 20 pounds of unspeakable detritus from an internal organ, and to increase the dimensions of another organ to such an …

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In Lieu of Pay

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Saturday, February 23, 2008 — Our latest issue, Volume 252, No. 11, dated February 22, hit the streets yesterday, thanks to our volunteer distribution crew. In their honor (and in lieu of pay) the Lithography Department has immortalized them with this image depicting them luxuriating in our lavishly appointed break room.

More Red Letter Days To Come

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Thursday, February 14, 2008 – Having recently made some fairly significant changes to the format of the Gazette, we’d like to give our readers some insight into why those changes were made, and what they mean for the future of this paper. As is so often the case, some knowledge of the past will be necessary in order to understand the future. The current editor acquired the ownership rights to of this paper nineteen years ago this spring, in what would best be described as an unusually hostile takeover. At that time the identity of the New Hampshire Gazette had been merged with that of …

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A Red Letter Day

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Friday, February 8 – It’s a red letter day here at the Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™. We published our latest fortnightly screed, of course, but we do that every other Friday anyway. Here’s what makes today special. See that red arrow up there on the right end of the banner? It’s pointing to a line that says, “First Class U.S. Postage Paid.” We have upgraded our mailing from the dreadfully slow “Pre-Sorted Standard,” right up to top-of-the-line First Class. More on this momentous change later.