The Alleged Editor
The New Hampshire Gazette Digital Edition
Volume 264, No. 24, August 14, 2020
August 14, 2020 — To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.
Cancelling Eternity
If a kid takes a swing at your mailbox with his Louisville Slugger, 18 U.S. Code § 1705 says he could get three years in the hoosegow and a quarter-million dollar fine. Louis DeJoy, on the other hand—our new Postmaster General—is sabotaging the whole dang U.S. Postal Service. If he succeeds he’ll get a lifetime pass at a string of tacky golf courses, and God only knows what other rewards and emoluments. DeJoy’s petty grifts are the least of our problems, though. Let him have that solid gold toilet Maurizio Cattelan made for Trump, for all we care. What’s worrying us are the consequences of what …
Fifth Avenue Pedestrians:
Wear Your Body Armor
Wednesday evening we completed the latest Rant, in which we accuse the President of sabotaging the U.S. Postal Service in order to steal the election. Pretty routine stuff; just another fortnight at the Nation’s Oldest Newspaper.™ Thursday morning, in a telephone interview, he told Fox’s Maria Bartiromo that’s exactly what he’s doing: “They want $3.5 billion for something that will turn out to be fraudulent, that’s election money basically. They want 3.5 trillion…billion dollars for the mail-in votes, OK, universal mail-in ballots, 3.5 trillion. They want $25 billion, billion, for the Post Office. Now they need that money in order to have the post office …
Fri, Aug 14
2019—The New York Times publishes “The 1619 Project,” arguing chattel slavery was central to the nation’s creation. Conservatives freak out. 1966—“As long as the United States and our brave allies are in the field,” says LBJ, “[a Communist takeover of South Vietnam] is impossible.” 1945—President Truman announces Japan’s surrender. Naval enlistees in San Francisco celebrate their reprieve with three nights of looting, vandalism, rape, and murder. 1936—In Owensboro, Ky., at 5:30 a.m, 15,000 watch as Rainey Bethea becomes the last person publicly hanged in America. Arthur Hash, the assigned executioner, is so drunk a deputy sheriff has to pull the lever. 1935—FDR signs the Social …
Thurs, Aug 13
2002—“I promise you I will listen to what has been said here,” says George W.[MD] Bush at the President’s Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, “even though I wasn’t here.” 1971—So-called Attorney General John Mitchell announces that there will be no grand jury investigation of the May 4 shootings at Kent State. 1966—Chairman Mao’s Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution begins. 1966—“In two or three years, or even before” says S. Vietnamese Premier Nguyen Cao Ky, “the Communists will accept defeat.” 1957—Daisy and Bill Myers, who are Black, get a “warm welcome” to Levittown, Pa.—burning cross and all. 1955—Lamar Smith, a Black WWI vet and voting activist, is …